This is me with fandom: 7 years!!!

So let this post be my obligatory 7th year anniversary exclamation because I still can't believe I'm lasting this long in the Korean pop fandom. I know I'm nowhere near fading away from the world of pretty boys and catchy music (that I'll rightfully admit I don't understand the lyrics to unless I search them up and find adequate English translations) so here's to more years to come! And more pretty boys!!

To start this post, I would like to quote myself from two years back when I also did one of these to celebrate my 5 years in the kpop fandom. It's been two years since then but what I'd written still hits home: "The Korean music industry has served as much of a therapy as it is a source of entertainment to me. Through ups and downs, personal struggles, family problems, and other kinds of emotional bullshit - Kpop has kept me grounded and is one of the main reasons why I’m kind of happy and living and breathing right now. At the risk of sounding cheesy but my love for Korean music and the culture itself runs deeper than anything else outside the boundaries of family and friendship (because family and friends will always be #1). I need it to breathe and I need it to live." (if you want to read the rest of the post, just click here)

I'll admit, being a kpop fan for this long has not been a walk through the park. I've had my fair share of being ridiculed for liking something that doesn't exactly fit the definition of norm here in the country I live in but I think hearing people insult the groups that I love hurt more than the jokes I had to endure. I know better than to take them as personal attacks but when I'm passionate about something and it gets treated with contempt, I get easily riled up. I usually keep my annoyance to myself though, letting go of unwanted emotions because I know not everybody feels and thinks the same way that I do.

This is me with fandom: EXO Fanartists

Today while I was waiting for the rice to cook, I went over to YouTube and started watching DVD previews from various Kyungsoo and Jongin fansites, and when I was scrolling through the Related and Recommended videos on the right side, I stumbled upon this breathtaking video:

and I am simply blown away that she managed to make this piece of beauty in 71 minutes!!!

And then good old Youtube recommended me some more fanart videos:

and after falling in love with these, I wanted more so I went here and as expected, I ended up watching everything OTL

My heart hurts because all the pieces are so achingly beautiful AUGH HOW DO YOU TALENT???

This is me with fandom: BaekYeon woes

Okay, so I just realized that I sound like an emotionless prick in my last post regarding the issue of Baekhyun and Taeyeon dating, and I'd really like to clarify some things for my own sake (mostly for the sake of my sanity because I have a lot of feelings bottled up inside me and I think I'm going to explode if I don't let them out). I know my stand on the issue isn't important so I'm going to put up a fair warning that you are not inclined to read about what I have to say. The things under this cut are my own feelings and thoughts regarding the matter and I would like you to respect them as much as I am willing to respect yours.

I've seen two sides of the fandom today: the ones who joked about the whole Baekhyun & Taeyeon dating thing, and the ones who cannot accept the news. I think it's okay to be protective when it comes to our biases, but being possessive is not entirely something I think highly of.

Of course, I cannot speak for what Baekhyun stans are feeling right now but I'm happy for Baekhyun. He gives me hope (I'm not saying that I can date my biases too because the possibility of that happening is non-existent, what I mean is that it's perfectly okay to aim high lol)

(SM, if this is just a ploy, I'm giving up on you) ((I've given up on you a long time ago)) (((I am allowing myself the liberty to give up on you again)))

Ode to the beautiful broken ballerino

to the boy with the sunshine smile

and feather-light feet

who turns and pirouettes with every single heartbeat.

you've got me weak on the knees,

my lungs feel like collapsing

but i don't mind the way

that you take my breath away.

when you said you wanted to dance,

what did the world have in store?

bright lights and adoring fans,

are these what you asked for?

but whatever path that has led you to me,

i'm thankful that it has made me see -

see you in your beautiful form

of grace and of passion,

of silly bubbling laughter,

of warmth and of the most powerful emotion.

(tell me, is it love?)

but it's okay, dream boy.

i do not deserve an explanation.

---

inspired by the video above and this article. 

6 Years with SHINee

Six years is quite a long time to be in a fandom, right? Although, technically, I didn't become a full-fledged Shawol until Hello Baby but I was already a casual fan right after they debuted. Last night, I watched almost 1GB worth of fancams from the Lost Planet in Seoul and after that, I had a sick feeling somewhere in the pit of my stomach for having remembered that it was SHINee's anniversary and I didn't even have anything planned for them. Usually, I post something really cheesy or I prepare weeks for it (like last year when I uploaded and shared their entire discography) but right now, what do I have? None. Unless you count this post that's a day late, which I don't.

This is me with fandom: from Kris back to Wu Yifan

Never in my 7 years in the Kpop fandom have I felt sadness as crippling as the one I feel right now. I am sad but I am also hurt, confused, and worried. Let me just lay it for you that for the past 24+ hours, my fandom has been in utter chaos. Rumors were being strewn everywhere and we didn't know what and who to believe in. It got to a point that I felt extreme frustration and disappointment in regards to how everyone was handling the situation, myself included. When something as big as news of a member filing a lawsuit against his company for contract nullification surfaces, mayhem is bound to happen. And the way the fandom took the news and played the blame game, pointed fingers, and basically jumped to conclusions without proper verification just made me realize how important it is to take everything with a grain of salt and wait for official statements.

I don't blame Tao for feeling betrayed. I don't blame the members for unfollowing Kris on Instagram. I don't blame Kris for wanting to leave. Heck, I don't even blame SM for what's happening right now. Maybe I'm going to sound like a bad fan but Kris probably knew what he was getting himself into when he joined SM and if he didn't, well then I guess he's reached his breaking point and wants out. And that's okay, it's perfectly fine that he wants to be treated differently as opposed to how the company has treated him all these years. I am just extremely worried for the rest of the members because I don't know how they're currently handling the situation and what's going to happen to them. The past two days have been a roller-coaster ride of emotions and I am still waiting for the dust to settle but I do have a few thoughts regarding the whole matter:

Album Review #5: EXO-K's Overdose

With EXO's rising popularity and their mere appearance causing mayhem everywhere they go, it's only anticipated that they should deliver what is expected from them. With their latest mini-album dominating the music charts and achieving an all-kill status, EXO seems to be the main contender to beat right now. But with every successful album comes great and not-so-great songs and I'm here to share my thoughts and opinions regarding the new songs that they've put out for both their fans and the general public. Fair warning that you do not have to necessarily agree with what I have to say as I am entitled to my own opinion as much as you are entitled to your own. I do not claim that my thoughts are the right and only true ones as these are the mere words of a girl with too much time to spare and too much love and appreciation for a Korean pop group. Also, I do not get money out of doing this, just sheer unadulterated joy.

So if you're interested to read about what I think of EXO-K's Overdose, the album review is under the breakthrough! :)

This is me with fandom: #PrayForSouthKorea

I normally don't let my opinions regarding public issues known on the internet because I know that not everyone is going to agree with what I have to say so instead of brewing misunderstandings and disagreements, I just keep my mouth shut. Blogging is an easy platform to convey my feelings but having an audience can also backfire on me if I'm not careful. To put in other words, I am actually very opinionated but I keep things to myself because I don't want anyone to get hurt. 

But ever since the South Korean tragedy with the sunken ferry, I've been having some thoughts regarding the matter. I tend to get really aggressive when it comes to social issues and some fans' reactions to the delayed music video for EXO's Overdose really got on my nerves. I'll be honest, when I came home to a tweet from a friend claiming of the cancellation of the music video's release, I was a bit annoyed. But that was before I knew about the incident with Sewol and after some thorough searching and reading regarding the topic at hand, my heart began to ache but it wasn't from the delayed MV, it was from the heavy weight of trying to digest what just happened to the students who have risked their lives and to those who are, up to now, still fighting for survival.

And then I saw this screen cap on my timeline and I was absolutely livid.

This is me with fandom: #HappySehunDay

So it is ultimately your choice whether to take this seriously or not. I did a video blog last night but that turned out to be a horrible idea because I just kept on rambling so I sang him a song instead. Obviously, I altered the lyrics. I'm probably going to regret this later but whatever. #HappySehunDay

I only did this because I'm mean to him and I insult him 99% of the time. After this day, we shall pretend this video and the song never existed. Although, I might do a full version if anyone wants lmao. Also, no sappy long love letter for the birthday boy because writing him heartfelt messages makes me uncomfortable even though I love him with half of my heart (the other half can't stand him, don't blame me, blame his face and his stupidly endearing personality).

Oh, and in celebration of his birthday, I am temporarily @yehetimamoron on twitter. I don't know, it just kinda fit (no one look at me).

This is me with fandom: EXO, let's love!

So I just watched the last episode of EXO's Showtime last night because life's been on the fast lane for me as of late. The past few weeks, I didn't really have enough time to sit down and watch and that's actually really sad on its own but the last episode inevitably made me cry. I mean, it practically signifies the end of an era so of course it turned out to be a tear-jerker. Or is it just me that's incredibly emotional? I hope you're in the same wavelength as me because I can't possibly be the only one who was making pitiful sounds while watching the last episode (especially the latter parts).

I think what's really tugging at my heartstrings is that this show has somewhat become a ticket to borrowed happiness for me. Each week, I had something to look forward to and it made things a little more bearable, knowing that I'd have something to smile at and laugh over once the work was done. The boys and their silly antics got me through a lot of stress and that's something I'll always be grateful for. Another is that maybe five or ten years from now, when the group is on the brink of disbanding or when their contracts end and everyone goes their separate ways, I'm going to re-watch the whole thing and remember all their happy times together. And I want to remember them as the twelve smiling happy idiots who could easily turn my mood from bad to good with their easy-going banter.

Holy smokes! Taemin smokes?! 2.0 because he actually does

Fair warning: This post went from being okay to being all over the place.

 

I've been having my suspicions for a long time now because let's be real, even the most seemingly-innocent idols are anything but the spruced-up, clean-cut images that entertainment companies throw their way in order to appease fans and let them think that their oppas are perfect creatures sent on Earth to become ideal human beings who only do good things. So of course, when something like this surfaces on social networking sites, mayhem is bound to happen and personal opinions are being flung from one corner of the world to another as fans start laying down their thoughts on the matter at hand. And where do I stand? I'm in between accepting and being mildly disappointed.

I still stand by what I said last year (see post here) and now that we have actual legitimate proof (to all the fans saying it's just a lollipop, I am laughing obnoxiously at you), I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad about this because I am sad. I AM SO SAD. I am so sad because I thought he had it better in him, I am so sad because wow he really is all grown up now you da man Taeman, I am so sad because I am worried for the sake of his lungs and his voice and his career and his life in general. Korean Shawols want out goddamnit!!! And I wouldn't be so affected by this if SHINee didn't need them for album sales and winnings on music shows. Honestly, I could care less about fans wanting to leave the fandom because heck those are their own personal choices but I know that SHINee's going to be sad about this and that's what makes me sad. SAD SHINee EQUALS A SAD CHRYSS.

This is me with fandom: literally

So basically, this is a post about me and a lot of feelings. This is for my own amusement actually. I think it might be a bad idea to proceed under the cut but read at your own risk.

This is me with fandom: MyDol Lockscreen

So! I've been meaning to recommend this app I have on my phone for several weeks now and I'm finally doing it! Hooray!! It's really fun and nice and rainbows!!!

I don't know if iPhone users can download this since I got it from PlayStore but it's called the MyDol Lockscreen app and basically, it's a lockscreen application that has messages for you from your bias whenever you unlock your phone. Also, you can choose photos from your Gallery to set as your lockscreen wallpapers and every time you unlock your phone, a different photo and message greets you. I don't know if there's a certain limit to the number of photos that you can set as your lockscreen wallpapers but so far I've got 30. I think you can choose as many as you want!

These cheer me up so much like you don't even know

My friends are probably laughing at me right now (Janina, I am looking at you)

More photos under the cut!

This is me with fandom: thoughts on Do Kyungsoo

I'm just crossposting this from my Tumblr. This morning, I got a message asking me about my thoughts on Kyungsoo and this doesn't give enough justice to what I really think about him but it's all I could muster at 11 a.m. on a Christmas break morning.

Man, where do I start. First of all, I’m going to admit right here and right now that I was very very very insanely disappointed when I found out that Jino wasn’t in EXO (I had high hopes of him debuting with them!!!). I think that’s the main reason why my initial response to SM’s new boy group was kind of lukewarm. I’ve never been fond of rookies to begin with. During the time when the only members I knew the names to were Kai, Sehun, and Luhan (because they were the ones being thrust so early into the limelight), I didn’t even bat Kyungsoo a second glance. He wasn’t my type (he still isn’t but I’ll go into that later) and I just really didn’t gravitate towards him. I think I sort of already liked Kai back then but was too stubborn to admit it to myself. But anyways, I wasn’t really interested in Kyungsoo or EXO in general so I left them alone.

vlog #5: 15 minutes of Oh Sehun (15 minutes of shame)

So I'm probably going to regret this but #yolo. Also, his hair's back to fucking rainbow and it inspired me this morning (lolwhat). This is 15 minutes of me trying to put my feelings into words and considerably failing. Speech is a little bit delayed but it gets better once you hit the 4-minute mark. 

I already apologize in advance for the secondhand embarrassment that this video might cause you. 

And I'm just going to leave this here: "But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you — Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all."

Album Review #4: SHINee's Everybody

After the success following the promotions of Misconceptions of Me, Misconceptions of You, and Boys Meet U, SHINee wakes everybody up with their new mini-album entitled "Everybody". Two albums, a Japanese single, and now another mini-album plus the countless variety show appearances and concerts along with other projects, I think it's fitting to say that 2013 has been a really good year for these five shining boys. Forget about 2009, 2013 is SHINee's "Year of Us."

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for a full-on RnB mini ala rookie days but this group has constantly been innovating itself musically over the years and is known for experimenting with their sounds and exploring different genres. Even if I ended up with false hope, my expectations for this album were pleasantly met and that's why I decided to do a track-by-track album review. If you want to know my personal thoughts, they're under the breakthrough!

This is me with fandom: Give it up for SHINee

 

This is just going to be one giant ball of mushy feelings because I dearly miss SHINee. The past few months I've been all over EXO that I seriously don't know what's going on with my favorite shining idiots anymore. I look at photos of them on my dashboard and I instantly feel sad. Sometimes, I even get hit by a wave of guilt. I think the main reason why I can't start with my K Rep fanaccount about them is that I don't know where to start. When I finally saw them in the flesh, it's like all the years I've spent devoting my spare time to them flashed before my eyes in a series of happy memories and smiling faces. SHINee has done so much for me, you know? They've saved me countless of times and I don't think I can ever thank them enough. It's just sad when I finally realize that things aren't the same anymore; that even though they're still my favorite group, I'm not as excited as I used to be for their comeback and I can't even bring myself to be stoked for their new album. I'm expecting great things, yeah, but that's all there is in me: great expectations. No bubbling excitement, no smiling like an idiot during random times when I think that in a day's time, I'll be listening to their voices singing new songs, no giddy feelings in my system whatsoever.

I miss SHINee but most of all, I miss Chryss the Shawol.

This is me with fandom: Let's Talk About Lee Taemin

Let's talk about the boy whom I planted sunflowers for in my mother's garden. Let's talk about the boy whose name I've written and rewritten on the frayed pages of my notes. Let's talk about the boy who I've watched grow from a cute little boy into an amazingly handsome young man. Let's talk about the boy who (after 3 years) still holds the throne to my heart's kingdom. Let's talk about Lee Taemin.

.

I FINALLY HAVE IT OMG

Since last week, I've been sending numerous complaints to EXO Philippines regarding the shipping of my album because I've been waiting for an unbearably long time already and I was getting mighty pissed. Thankfully, I received it in the mail today!!! I think my mother was more excited than I was because the moment I stepped foot inside our house, she greeted me with a "GUESS WHAT CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY!" and I was ready to burst into tears. I ran around the house screaming "omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg" for like five minutes and I think my brother took a video of me or something.

It is beautiful and I couldn't look at the pictures carefully through all my tears huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

If anyone's curious, I got a Kris photo card. Anyone willing to trade it for Kyungsoo's? :3