Okay, so I just realized that I sound like an emotionless prick in my last post regarding the issue of Baekhyun and Taeyeon dating, and I'd really like to clarify some things for my own sake (mostly for the sake of my sanity because I have a lot of feelings bottled up inside me and I think I'm going to explode if I don't let them out). I know my stand on the issue isn't important so I'm going to put up a fair warning that you are not inclined to read about what I have to say. The things under this cut are my own feelings and thoughts regarding the matter and I would like you to respect them as much as I am willing to respect yours.
First of all, I like to think that everyone's feelings are valid. Just because I'm happy for him doesn't mean others feel the same and just because I'm not sad doesn't mean that others aren't allowed to feel like their whole world is crashing down on them. I hold no knowledge as to how it feels to be a Baekhyun stan right now, as he is not my bias and has never been my bias prior to this, but I do know that it hurts to be one right now. Some of you feel betrayed, others feel depressed, most feel like they've been lied to. And I understand that. I accept that you guys do not feel okay and I respect your feelings. But what I do not get is how some people are over-reacting towards the situation: how they feel like this is going to be the end of EXO, that Baekhyun is the worst member in EXO and deserves to be kicked out of the group, and the most disturbing one I've come across yet - how some fans wish that EXO will fail in their upcoming promotions so that they'll be taught a lesson and not fuck things up in the future.
*takes a huge deep breath and lets out a really sad, really long sigh*
This fandom is so young, still so young and has lots of spaces left to grow yet this fandom has faced problems and scandals that usually happen to groups who are near/have passed the infamous 5-year curse. EXO rose to fame so quickly that it was actually scary watching them from the sidelines when I was still so devoted to SHINee, and the idea of them plummeting down when they've reached their peak is just horrible to think about. All because someone chose his own happiness and fell in love (and shattered the hearts of a million people, I am so sorry and I hope everything's going to be okay for all of you soon).
I'm here in this fandom mostly because it's fun and I'm genuinely enjoying myself but when things like these arise, I have no choice but to swallow them despite the awful taste they leave in my mouth because I know that things will eventually get better and that happy times will come again. But being in this situation right now - with fans leaving, fans hurting, fans playing the blame game yet again and jumping to conclusions - all I feel is tired. I am so sorry, Baekhyun stans, so sorry that you're hurting right now and I would hug all your sadness away if I could. If this happened to any of my biases, I would feel just as hurt. The thing is though, I've always had the premonition that they all have significant others and when news like this surfaces, I'm surprised but not shocked and I choose to accept and get on with my life because what else can I do? My feelings and pain won't change anything and if I continue to hurt, I have no one to blame but myself.
At the end of the day, I always put myself where I truly belong - as a fan. And as a fan, I do not hold any right to deprive my biases of their happiness, I do not hold any right to deprive my biases from living the lives they want to live. I rely on them for my own happiness (I would seriously be miserable right now without them) and if the only way for me to repay them for making me smile and laugh all the worries away is by supporting them in their own pursuit of happiness, then so be it.
I know that not everyone feels the same way that I do and I understand that. We all don't feel the same and if you're upset because of Baekhyun and Taeyeon's relationship, then I can only hope that you will feel better soon. You deserve to be just as happy as much as they deserve their own happiness.
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