So let this post be my obligatory 7th year anniversary exclamation because I still can't believe I'm lasting this long in the Korean pop fandom. I know I'm nowhere near fading away from the world of pretty boys and catchy music (that I'll rightfully admit I don't understand the lyrics to unless I search them up and find adequate English translations) so here's to more years to come! And more pretty boys!!
To start this post, I would like to quote myself from two years back when I also did one of these to celebrate my 5 years in the kpop fandom. It's been two years since then but what I'd written still hits home: "The Korean music industry has served as much of a therapy as it is a source of entertainment to me. Through ups and downs, personal struggles, family problems, and other kinds of emotional bullshit - Kpop has kept me grounded and is one of the main reasons why I’m kind of happy and living and breathing right now. At the risk of sounding cheesy but my love for Korean music and the culture itself runs deeper than anything else outside the boundaries of family and friendship (because family and friends will always be #1). I need it to breathe and I need it to live." (if you want to read the rest of the post, just click here)
I'll admit, being a kpop fan for this long has not been a walk through the park. I've had my fair share of being ridiculed for liking something that doesn't exactly fit the definition of norm here in the country I live in but I think hearing people insult the groups that I love hurt more than the jokes I had to endure. I know better than to take them as personal attacks but when I'm passionate about something and it gets treated with contempt, I get easily riled up. I usually keep my annoyance to myself though, letting go of unwanted emotions because I know not everybody feels and thinks the same way that I do.
On a brighter note, I do not regret being a kpop fan at all. Being in this fandom has made me experience a plethora of amazing and wonderful things until I felt like I was going to burst from the happiness inside me. I've gained a lot of friends and somewhere along the way, I built friendships with certain people that I hope will last a lifetime (hopefully you guys know who you are). I personally think that's the greatest thing about fandom: bringing people in with different personalities from all walks of life and letting them interact with one another until interactions become so much more than just strangers talking on the internet. There's a sense of belonging and a sense of being one. When a fandom is in turmoil, everyone tries to make one another feel better. When something big and wonderful happens, the fandom shares in the same happiness. Although sometimes fanwars erupt and fans start going against one another, I think that's the time people should just take a step back and remind themselves of the things that truly matter and that hate won't stop anything. But! - when people are genuinely happy for one another whenever something amazingly glorious happens within the fandom or within one another's personal lives? The sense of being together as one and cheering on the same group that we all love? The goosebumps that break out against our skin and the proud feeling that rushes through our veins whenever we have proved our worth as a fandom and made our idols happy? Now those, those are fucking beautiful and just some of the reasons why I choose to stay.
If I could sum up in a few words that will never give enough justice to the true essence of the seven years I've spent squealing over pretty boys and waiting for new releases from my favorite groups - my time with fandom has been one great big adventure. I consider myself lucky since I have seen almost all of my biases in the flesh and watched them perform before my very eyes, just a few meters away from where I had been screaming my heart out. I can only count myself as blessed and I will always be eternally grateful to have been given the chance to see and hear them live and I wish the same for you. It's the best feeling ever and you deserve to feel it too.
I don't know how to wrap this up, I still have so many things left to say but I'm overwhelmed and don't know how to express myself right now. I laid awake on my bed last night for almost an hour, just thinking about what to write here and I had so many things I wanted to tackle, so many things I wanted to explain, so many things I wanted to delve further into but right now, I can't find the right words and I think ripping my heart out for the world to see would be an easier task.
Fandom is amazing. In so many ways. And despite the numerous reasons for me to leave, right now - I choose to stay. And I know that in several years, fandom might just be a dusty part of my life that I'll have to tuck away in a drawer inside me because I've outgrown it but right now, I also know that my fandom will always be a part of me and that it will never really truly go away.
It won't go away.
It's a part of me.
It will stay.
Fandom is amazing. In so many ways. And despite the numerous reasons for me to leave, right now - I choose to stay. And I know that in several years, fandom might just be a dusty part of my life that I'll have to tuck away in a drawer inside me because I've outgrown it but right now, I also know that my fandom will always be a part of me and that it will never really truly go away.
It won't go away.
It's a part of me.
It will stay.
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