6 Years with SHINee

Six years is quite a long time to be in a fandom, right? Although, technically, I didn't become a full-fledged Shawol until Hello Baby but I was already a casual fan right after they debuted. Last night, I watched almost 1GB worth of fancams from the Lost Planet in Seoul and after that, I had a sick feeling somewhere in the pit of my stomach for having remembered that it was SHINee's anniversary and I didn't even have anything planned for them. Usually, I post something really cheesy or I prepare weeks for it (like last year when I uploaded and shared their entire discography) but right now, what do I have? None. Unless you count this post that's a day late, which I don't.

I know I've stressed this a lot of times in the past but SHINee has helped me overcome a lot of struggles and it's the primary reason why I can't seem to let go of them, despite my attention focused on EXO right now. Whenever someone asks me which group I like, I always say, "SHINee! And I like EXO too" like EXO's just an added bonus but if I have to be brutally honest with myself, EXO is well into becoming my main group right now and since I can't juggle two fandoms at the same time, I can feel SHINee slipping away from my flimsy grasp and it feels horrible. I've always been fiercely loyal and it's why don't want to admit to myself that I'm more of an EXO stan right now rather than a Shawol but it's so painfully obvious that I'm lying to no one but myself. And I think it's time to slowly but surely accept that I'm no longer the same fan that I once was.

Also, I've just realized that I never got around to posting a fanaccount about my K Rep experience with SHINee. It's actually due to the fact that I couldn't and still can't find the right words to describe their perfection and I was mostly in a daze during that time. I got to watch my fancams again last night and I just ended up laughing at myself because I don't even remember screaming/saying half of the things that came out of my mouth in the videos.

But bottomline is that SHINee hasn't lost a fan. I'm still here and I think I will always be here, I think I will always be with them. It's just that things will never be quite the same anymore and I'm shedding off a layer of my skin. It's time.