This is me with fandom: My MAMA 2012 Experience

I actually slept at an ungodly hour last night because I got home around 7:30 pm so I missed 1/3 of the show but thanks to Mnet's livestream of the whole event, I got to watch all the parts I missed.

Warning: Incoherent post.

Basically me because of Epik High's new song:

• "OH MY GOD I LITERALLY RAN LIKE THE WIND FROM THE CAR I MEAN HEY IT'S 5:45 ALREADY I'M 45 MINUTES LATE!!!!!!!!!!!! "
• OH MY GOD COMPUTER START UP FASTER
• OH MY GOD FINGERS TYPE FASTER
• OH MY GOD SOUNDCLOUD LOAD FASTER
• ...
• OH MY GOD THIS IS IT I AM SO EXCITED I FEEL LIKE I MIGHT JUST GIVE BIRTH
• *listens to first few seconds* FUCKING SHIT THIS IS BEAUTIFUL *hears Tablo*  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
• *for the rest of the song* I NEED TO BE HELD. AND ROCKED SOFTLY
• /CRYING
• /THROWING TEARS AT THE SCREEN

If you want to listen to the song, just click here.

Tomorrow's the day.

lyrical assassins

Do you want a breather from the K-pop scene and its obnoxious auto-tuned/synthesized voices and Engrish nonsense? (because oftentimes, I do)

Then tune in to the wonderful world of alternative korean hip-hop and have some Epik High, it's good for you.

English:

1. Map the Soul (Worldwide Version) feat. MYK and Kero One - Just click play and fall in love with the words. The first time I heard this, I cried because I was an emotional wreck and then this song was so beautiful  packed with beautiful words that I couldn't contain myself. It was too much for me to take.

2. Over - To all the people who are pressured and feel like they just want to break down because the whole world is against them, then this song is perfect for you.

3. Lesson One (Tablo's Word) - This has got to be Tablo's best solo English rap yet. The way he addresses society in such a poetic way is pure magic. This was what made me a dedicated fan.

Korean:

4. Fan - This was the first song I head of theirs back in 2008. My sister and I were on our way to her friend's birthday party and I could hear this blasting from her earphones. It was catchy and I asked for the title and searched it when we got home. I thought it was good. Then I searched for the lyrics. That did it for me. It was brilliant and I'm sure every fan, regarding whatever genre of music you may take interest in, can relate to this. I've been in love with them since then. (English lyrics can be found here.)

5. Coffee feat. Sung Ah - This song makes me want to drink coffee all day long, and I don't even like coffee. Reasons why I really like this song? It's soothing and the lyrics are lovely as well. (English lyrics can be found here).

Positive Kpop.

Recently discovered this lovely Tumblr, and I'd like to share some of the blog's posts.

Tablo, my muse:

SHINee, my sunshine:

Various artists:

a few things:

• Just finished watching EXO's 'What is Love' music video. The beat is a little unusual, but the singing is superb, dance steps were a little too simple in the sense that I know they can do so much better. Overall, it was pretty good for debut video and I have so much hope for this group. Everyone looks insanely gorgeous and even though I don't think they'll surpass their sunbaenims, they'll shine in their own way. Also, all throughout the video I kept trying to distinguish Jino but I couldn't spot him. Where is my little munchkin?
• People in Facebook should seriously stop sending me application requests. I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO PLAY THOSE STUPID GAMES, OKAY?
• I feel like rotting from so much anticipation and waiting for SHINee's concert schedule to be released. Why is it taking them so long to plan a fucking date?
• Ugh. This week has been nothing but hectic. Long tests, projects, practical tests, outputs, and everything else in between. As of the moment, we have 5 projects to tackle over the weekend. My group and I will meet up tomorrow for lunch, then off to watch Princess's volleyball game whilst planning for basically everything, then Melissa's house afterwards for the actual making of the projects. Lord, help us.
• School is so stupid and ironic I want to bitch-slap its face. If I like the teacher, I hate the subject. If I like the subject, I hate the teacher. And sometimes, I hate both the subject and the teacher. In school, everything hurts.
• Epik High, Epik High, Epik High.
• Smooth and smiling faces everywhere, but ruin in their eyes.
• I have a big hug for you waiting every time you need one. Please know that.
• When it's cold, it's really really ass-cold. When it's hot, it's really really you-feel-like-dying-kind-of-hot. When it just rained a couple of seconds ago, the sun's out sooner than you even deem possible and the atmosphere turns humid as fuck. Sometimes, the wind is really strong but the temperature is still so high you think you'd be able to fry an egg on the window. Welcome to the Philippines, where the weather is crazier than the people.
• "Those who don't understand your silence, will probably never understand your words."
• I don't know if people have noticed, but I realized last night that I've been getting quieter and quieter as the weeks go by. And I don't know why. I still talk, only not as much. Maybe it's because I'm running out of things to say or I'm running out of trust. Whichever the case, I hope it's for the best.
• I really don't get how some people can bash other fandoms. We're all fangirls. The things you spazz over might be annoying other people too. Stop being fucking elitists and just love your own interests without stepping over other people in the process. Anyways, what do you get from hating?
• SHINee, just fucking have your Korean comeback already. Do you not realize how long we've waited? ALMOST 2 YEARS. I don't want to have to watch you perform Lucifer over and over again. This is already the 3rd year that you keep on using that song for live perfs and it's getting on my nerves. Just...PLEASE.
• Eating my feelings away ;_;
• Sometimes, I wonder is people actually care, or they're just curious.
• People who like to write are different to those who don't. I'm not saying that we're more superior or that we're better or any of those arrogant shit. Just more sensitive, I guess.
• Sometimes, when I'm lying in bed, getting ready to sleep or just simply lying for the sake of lying, I think about death and I think about life and it seems that neither one appeals to me. 
• Daydreams can be dangerous because they make me hope for things I'll never have and sometimes, it makes me feel incredibly sad and feel like curling up and dying for no apparent reason, even though I don't want to.
• Most of the writers I know are weird hybrids. There’s a strong streak of egomania coupled with extreme shyness. Writing’s kind of like exhibitionism in private. And there’s also a strange loneliness, and a desire to have some kind of conversation with people, but not a real great ability to do it in person.

  —David Foster Wallace, 1996

Tablo's notes.

Doesn't the world inside a black and white photograph seem more real? 

It's because the real world is losing its color.

The musician and the listener
If this is love between two strangers
watching each other from afar
that rough, burning moment
when you rush in
and kiss
is
the show

 If you have a problem with your body you go to the gym;
if you have a problem with your brain you go see a shrink;
if you have a problem with your soul, you turn to music.

And a little bit of Mithra:

This is our reality

3-4 cups of coffee per day
2-3 packs of cigarettes
3-4 hours of sleep
no exercise

Attention!

It's a miracle that we're walking, breathing and alive.
Good music is important
but let's not risk our lives doing it!
Let's live like human beings, for once! 

How can so much perfection exist in just one group? 

Just...

...how? 

a few things:

It's been more than a week since I last posted one of these and there's been quite a lot of things on my mind these past few days, things that I don't think I'll be able to convert into a proper blog post, so I'll stick with this.

Here goes:

• I am starting to annoy the shit out of myself. Seriously. It's like I want to yell at Chryss to get her shit together and move on with life. All these sentiments and thoughts that only bring her down won't do her good.  
• It was nice for awhile, feeling empty. But then, I started drifting away from myself and it scared me. It was like I could hear my voice begging for Chryss, the usual Chryss, to come back.
• I think I just need someone who won't run away.
• And it'd be nice if I could find somewhere far and quiet, where no one knows and hears me.
• But the real deal is if there's someone somewhere that needs me just as much as I need them.
• And I don't think that person knows what they're doing to me.
• Every once in a while, I try to look around and see if people are suffering as much as I am. If they're also lost and confused and don't know what to do with their lives. But all I see are smiling faces and tear-streaked cheeks not because of pain, but of happiness. And then I try to convince myself that a lot of beautiful things surround me, that happiness will also await me in the end, and that I should never give in to the shadows of doubt. Sometimes, it works and sometimes it doesn't. My world turns dark when it doesn't.
• It seems like people secretly want to be unhappy. Whenever we reach a balance in our lives, we start to feel bored, and suddenly nothing pleases us anymore.
• ^Is this what I am at the moment? Because I'm contented with life, in the sense that there's balance but I still yearn and pine for more. Is that it?
• Sigh.
• I really need to tell Tablo how much of a creative genius he is. I'm sure people tell him this every single day but I'd want to be able to tell it to his face and that he's completely changed my outlook and disposition in life. That even though the whole world stops listening, I only need him to hear me and that I was taught to read receive the lies and to deceive the eyes from seeing between the lines. I want to tell him that he's right, Genius is not the answer to all questions, it's the question to all answers. And that he made me want to cry when he said,""" "  Dying words: soul, eternity, destiny, gratitude, sincerity, peace, inspiration, faith, passion, beauty, music......" 
• sobs. 
• Irritating piece of unwanted opinion ahead.
• Warning. Read at your own risk.
  
• Kai is starting to annoy the shit out of me. It's not that I don't like him, it's actually because I like him a little too much for comfort. I see him as this mini-Taemin who looks and dances just like my little mushroom and I don't like it. The similarities freak me out. And not even in a good away. LMAO why am I like this?
• Told you it was stupid.
• Such is my life.

Insanity killed the fangirl...and her "Star".

I watched Epik High's "Fan" MV for umpteenth time and still, it never fails me to give me the chills. Good chills, though. If that makes sense.

From what I've read, it's about a girl and she sees her favorite popstar/rockstar/idol whatever and she decides to kidnap him. She tries to make him happy, but all he wants to do is leave. She's becoming disheartened, so she builds him a rocket ship to send him to space because he's a "star", but the rocket malfunctions and he dies.
Then we see her again in the rain, meaning that the whole music video was just a possible outcome if she kidnapped the "fallen star".

By the way, anybody noticed that she put him in the washing machine? Crazy bitch XD

Tablo is such a creative genius. 

English lyrics for Fan can be found here.

Epik High.

And since my previous post was of Tablo, I think my next post should be of Epik High's songs.
*Tablo belongs to Epik High.

Click the ones in black, they're links to the full lyrics.

Personal favorites:
Fan
You don't even know my name
I spend my sleepless nights gazing at you
You are My star, I’m your no.1 fan
Baby please, take my hand

Map the Soul
Sometimes I wonder why our paths decided to collide
We started off as perfect strangers
Boy meets girl, infatuation to love
Now you're my whole entire world

Lesson One
Do we learn to read to receive the lies
To deceive the eyes from seeing between the lines?
We use words to bring forth sticks and stones
To sing songs of hate that fill the streets with bones

Daydream
All my thoughts are running wild
That's when I realize I'm caught in a daydream, daydream


Tomorrow
Receiving love doesn’t mean you have it
Covering time doesn’t mean it passes
Breathing doesn’t mean you live

Bad
My lips that used to whisper only good words
Now only swears whenever I breathe
I don’t pass by before the ember becomes a fire
I habitually lie and
I harass love with the name of love