This is me with fandom: Ramblings (EXO)

Warning: This is a bit messy and all over the place but my feelings are all over the place as well. Word vomit.

On Kai:

• I sincerely think from the bottom of my fangirl heart that Kim Jongin is genuine, like genuine in a way that his "idol mask" is not as deceiving as say, practically everyone in SHINee's lmao. I'm not just saying this because I'm in a love-hate relationship with him, I can see it in the way he holds himself. Onstage, he's like this dancing beast oozing with so much self-confidence and I can see how he's so passionate about performing but offstage, something inside him turns off and he becomes this shy, little teenage boy who grew up too soon for his own good. I get that, you know, being SM's newest golden child and being the face of EXO-K (maybe even of EXO in general) he has this image to keep up and maybe it's exhausting him not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I've read from various fanaccounts that he's not exactly friendly and that he doesn't do much fanservice and it has led to some fans getting irked and annoyed by his indifference but cut the guy some slack. Just because he doesn't want to pose for photos and he's unwilling to perform some aegyeo for you doesn't mean he's a horrible person. He's drained and tired and needs his alone time, what with being surrounded by people (mostly strangers) almost 24/7.
• I really can't understand my feelings for this boy. Loving him's like a paradox. There are days that I want to punch him in the face because I hate him so fucking much and then there are days that I want to fly to Korea and hunt him down and destroy everyone he loves because I am not one of them and I will never be one of them. Ugh.

On Kyungsoo:

• Kyungsoo's such a special snowflake but I can tell all the cute faces and actions and constant bewilderment are somewhat...fake? No, fake's not the right term, maybe just a little bit constructed. Kyungsoo's smart. He knows what the fans want, what the fans like, so he simply delivers. And then we eat up all of his wide eyes and childlike antics and fucking loveable aegyeo and treat him like he's the most adorable 19 (almost 20!) year old to ever grace the face of the Earth. Which he is but that's not the Do Kyungsoo behind the bright lights of the limelight. I think Kyungsoo, the real Kyungsoo, is reserved and closed-off but I don't really mind what he chooses to show to the public because he's fucking cute and has a great voice that sounds good at any range and every idol has a mask on anyway. We just need to look more closely to see through them and maybe we won't like what we see, but hell, that's show business for you!

On Kaisoo:

• They do lots of cute, stupid things together that it makes me want to claw my eyes out. Seriously, I'm too young for this. Kaisoo? More like kaisooicide.
• And the fics are fucking amazing. The main reason why I got into this fandom was because of a Kaisoo fic that was utterly beautiful that it enticed me to join the dark side. I haven't looked back since. Welp.
• But sometimes, I think that those two are just putting on a show to please the fans. But whatever, it's free entertainment and I'm not complaining.

Warning: Incoherent Post

A scene by scene commentary on Dazzling Girl

0:00 - 0:22 Hurry up, I want to see my boys, not this girl omg I am so essited!!!

0:23 - 0:25 OMG THIS IS IT!!!

0:26 - 0:29 DA FUCK GUYS WHAT ARE YOU DOING

0:30 - 0:39 ~JONGHYUN IS A DINOSAUR FROM YOUR IMAGINATION~

0:40 - 0:45 TAEMIN, I WANT TO PUNCH YOU DUDE YOUR FACE IS SO RIDICULOUSLY GOOD-LOOKING IT SHOULD BE A CRIME TO BE THIS PRETTY!!!

0:46 - 0:47 Taemin, no more hip thrusts please. Have mercy ;_______;

0:48 - 0:53 FLUFFY BUNNY ONEW!!!

0:54 - 1:01 Jjong, you've got immaculate pits but what's up with your clothes? What's up with everybody's clothes? Enlighten me please. Your wardrobes never fail to amuse and perplex me at the same time. Juts what is going on around the minds of your stylists? But whatever fabulous bbys, just work whatever those heartless noonas force you to wear (though I would kill to be in their shoes).

1:02 - 1:05 Finally, I get some Key action. My dearest diva, sad to say I'm not really fond of your new hair. Wait, that's an understatement. I think it's tragic. I'm sorry.

1:06 - 1:07 And here we have Jonghyun with his weird hand movements.

1:08 - 1:09 Ooh lala, SM got some new ideas.

1:10 - 1:24 WHO CHOREOGRAPHED THIS SHIT? I LOVE IT.

1:25 - 1:30 Aw, Jongkey. You guys are so cute.

1:31 - 1:34 The girl seriously creeps me out because she reminds me of a store mannequin, especially when she was seated on the couch's armrest beside Onew. But Ontokki, you look precious as usual.

1:35 - 1:38 That awkward moment when Taemin's applying lipstick on a girl and Minho's styling her hair. Who the fuck comes up with these ideas?! 

1:39 - 1:49 Rainy day~ So happy~ Melody~

1:50 - 1:53 Hooray because Minho finally got to sing.

1:54 - 1:59 FUCK I SAID NO MORE HIP THRUSTS!!!!! ;_______________;

2:00 - 2:01 Taemin twirling is forever relevant.

2:02 - 2:07 Thinking about my life choices because I seriously want to fly to Korea and kidnap five dancing boys who sing, make cute faces, and make my heart do cartwheels.

2:08 - 2:21 THE CHOREOGRAPHY!!!!! I want to crawl on the floor and cry because the dance moves are A++ /sobs/

2:22 - 2:38 Minho's and Key's rap parts. As usual, I turn a blind eye.

2:38 ------- I WANT MORE!!! YOU GUYS CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME HANGING! MY POOR HEART!

omo eohtokke

Favorite SHINee perf #1

October 12, 2008 - Medley of Replay, One For Me, Best Place, and Love like Oxygen

---

Everything in this performance is near perfection. The intro of Replay, the outfits, the choreography, the medley of the songs, the blending of their voices, their synchronization, the way they handled the stage, even Jonghyun's lack of voice control, they all seemed to fit in all the right places.

This performance was also a medley of all my favorite songs from their first album (excluding Romantic and The SHINee World) which is probably the main reason why I chose this. And this perf also proves just how polished they were as a rookie group at that time when they were just beginning to grow better and fully develop and hone their skills. Also, it is very hard to sing whilst dancing to a complicated dance routine, but they managed to make it look effortless.

Lastly, the fanchants left me goosebumps. It's always nice to hear them but I've never heard one that was chanted with so much clarity, so much unity, so much love.

SHINee and Shawols, daebak ♥

---

For the next few weeks, I'll be posting some of my favorite SHINee perfs, just because.

Read my blog post about certain members from EXO and Taemin from last night and literally face-palming at the moment. Sobs.

I swear Taemin was destined to be in EXO. All throughout the W Live with SM Fashionistas photoshoot, he's like, "What is a Jonghyun? I only know EXO." creys

But it's nice to see my socially-awkward mushroom interacting with people his own age. He sticks too much to his SHINee hyungs. He's especially close with Kai. They're so comfortable around each other it makes me giggle. Seriously. And it's so cute how he accidentally called Taemin "Taeminnie" , and then he realized it. Kai, you're supposed to call him hyung or Taemin-sshi in front of the camera. If this doesn't prove their close relationship with each, what does? And the way Taemin acted so childish while around Kai is so fucking cute even though he's supposed to be the older one. OTL

And right now, I'm on page 3271939816237868 of my Taekai tracked tag on Tumblr.

/why/

Can't. Stop. Won't. Stop. Help.

GONE. GOING. GONE.

*gifs and photos are taken from Tumblr.

OT3. WHAT IS ONTAE AND 2MIN.

TAEMIN'S PLAYING HARD TO GET. JUST FUCKING HOLD HIS HAND ALREADY. FORGET DEM CAMERAS. PROFESS YOUR LOVE TO EACH OTHER!!!

GO AWAY.

THE WAY KAI LOOKS AT TAEMIN. I SWEAR THEY ARE FUCKING.

PERFECTION. ARE YOU GUYS FUCKING REAL?

gay

uber gay

super gay

TAEMIN, THE CREEP

WHAT IS BREATHING

IT'S NOT "BEST BUDDIES FOR LIFE". I PROPOSE, "FUCK BUDDIES 4 LYF." ~^O^~

DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. I HAVE DIED AND GONE TO PRETTY BOY HEAVEN.

See how I can turn from a sadistic and emotional little piece of shit into an incoherent fangirl who spazzes to no end? THE POWER OF FLOWER BOYS.

/crying/

WHY AM I LIKE THIS?

☂

So I have this unusual obsession with umbrellas, especially those pretty transparent ones in the picture. I think this has something to do with my liking for rainy days and cold dreary weather, and the way the raindrops look on a clear window.
I even have plans of opening up an umbrella store in the future. It’s one of those unattainable dreams that I know will just remain as aspirations and will soon be forgotten and buried within the remnants of forgotten memories but as of the moment, as peculiar as it may seem, umbrellas inspire me in more ways than one.