Warning: This is a bit messy and all over the place but my feelings are all over the place as well. Word vomit.
On Kai:
- I sincerely think from the bottom of my fangirl heart that Kim Jongin is genuine, like genuine in a way that his "idol mask" is not as deceiving as say, practically everyone in SHINee's lmao. I'm not just saying this because I'm in a love-hate relationship with him, I can see it in the way he holds himself. Onstage, he's like this dancing beast oozing with so much self-confidence and I can see how he's so passionate about performing but offstage, something inside him turns off and he becomes this shy, little teenage boy who grew up too soon for his own good. I get that, you know, being SM's newest golden child and being the face of EXO-K (maybe even of EXO in general) he has this image to keep up and maybe it's exhausting him not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I've read from various fanaccounts that he's not exactly friendly and that he doesn't do much fanservice and it has led to some fans getting irked and annoyed by his indifference but cut the guy some slack. Just because he doesn't want to pose for photos and he's unwilling to perform some aegyeo for you doesn't mean he's a horrible person. He's drained and tired and needs his alone time, what with being surrounded by people (mostly strangers) almost 24/7.
- I really can't understand my feelings for this boy. Loving him's like a paradox. There are days that I want to punch him in the face because I hate him so fucking much and then there are days that I want to fly to Korea and hunt him down and destroy everyone he loves because I am not one of them and I will never be one of them. Ugh.
On Kyungsoo:
- Kyungsoo's such a special snowflake but I can tell all the cute faces and actions and constant bewilderment are somewhat...fake? No, fake's not the right term, maybe just a little bit constructed. Kyungsoo's smart. He knows what the fans want, what the fans like, so he simply delivers. And then we eat up all of his wide eyes and childlike antics and fucking loveable aegyeo and treat him like he's the most adorable 19 (almost 20!) year old to ever grace the face of the Earth. Which he is but that's not the Do Kyungsoo behind the bright lights of the limelight. I think Kyungsoo, the real Kyungsoo, is reserved and closed-off but I don't really mind what he chooses to show to the public because he's fucking cute and has a great voice that sounds good at any range and every idol has a mask on anyway. We just need to look more closely to see through them and maybe we won't like what we see, but hell, that's show business for you!
On Kaisoo:
- They do lots of cute, stupid things together that it makes me want to claw my eyes out. Seriously, I'm too young for this. Kaisoo? More like kaisooicide.
- And the fics are fucking amazing. The main reason why I got into this fandom was because of a Kaisoo fic that was utterly beautiful that it enticed me to join the dark side. I haven't looked back since. Welp.
- But sometimes, I think that those two are just putting on a show to please the fans. But whatever, it's free entertainment and I'm not complaining.
On predebut selcas:
x This is officially my favorite picture of Kai.
x My bias is so gorgeous, don't you think? I picked well. /pats myself on the back
x I want to ask Luhan how it feels looking like a pixie princess. Dear lord, that boy's too pretty for his own good. I feel like I've failed as a girl.
- Not sure whether I want to kick him where it hurts or hug him 'til he suffocates. My Chanyeol feels are as out of control as his facial expressions.
On Hunhan:
- I love how they're so comfortable with each other and how Sehun's poker face instantly lights up whenever Luhan's around. It's hilarious. On hunhan fics though, I'm not really fond of reading them and I don't even know why. The pairing is obviously adorable but I just find myself enjoying Kaisoo and Baekyeol and Fanxing fics a lot more. Even though their moments are cute, I think they're not really...compatible with each other? This is just me though.
On Yixing:
- I love the Changsha Prince. I love his voice, his dancing, his tendency to space off, his dimple (!), but I love his airport fashion the most.
On Xiumin, Tao, and Chen:
- I'm sorry but I really can't bring myself to love them? Yeah, I like them but not enough to make me feel feelings. If that makes sense.
On Suho:
- I still don't know whether I like him or not. I used to dislike him lol but he kind of grew on me enough to stop me disliking him. I'm pretty neutral when it comes to Suho. He's not exactly eye-catching during performances and sometimes, his personality falls flat whenever he talks. I love how he seems to genuinely care for his members though.
On Sehun:
- I think every EXO fan secretly has feelings for Sehun. I know I do lmao. It's hard not to with that classic pretty boy face and endearing bratty attitude.
- And I hope I'm not the only one who misses his silver hair. He reminded me so much of Jack Frost it literally hurt my insides.
On Luhan:
- I used to call Luhan my Chinese princess. Now, I call him my pixie princess.
On Baekhyun:
- I love Baekhyun's voice. I love the veins that appear along his neck whenever he reaches those high notes (lip-syncing or not, the veins are there). I love how he's so short compared to Chanyeol that they look adorable together. I love his face without make-up and I love the little mole above his upper lip. But most of all, I love his fingers!!!!!
On Kris:
- As I said before, Wu Yifan ruins my bias list. He's snaking up to the top like a ninja /sobbeu. I think it all started when I read fanaccounts and watched videos of him being so nice to fans in the airport. I mean, he bought another suitcase just so he could fit in all the fans' gifts! And he even kept the ones the manager threw away! And he's just really really honest and genuine and sincere and his eyebrows used to bother me so much but they don't anymore because I've been blinded by my love for him uggghhh.
- Also, remember when everyone thought Kris was cool? lol
On EXO in general:
- DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY NIGHTS I SPENT SLEEPING AT UNGODLY HOURS READING BEAUTIFUL FAN FABRICATION ABOUT YOU GUYS? DO YOU KNOW THAT SOMETIMES I WEEP OVER YOUR PERFECTION AND WALLOW MY SOUL IN SELF-PITY BECAUSE I MIGHT NEVER GET TO SEE YOU ALL IN THE FLESH? DO YOU KNOW THAT MY INTEREST IN SHINee IS WANING BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO BECOMING MY NEW FAVORITE GROUP? DO YOU KNOW THAT MY FEELINGS FOR THE 12 OF YOU ARE THREATENING TO EAT ME UP UNTIL I'M A SHRIVELED CREATURE TRYING TO BREAK FREE FROM THIS STUPID STUPID FANDOM BUT I CAN'T AND DEEP DOWN, I DON'T WANT TO???
- No? Oh, okay.
On SHINee (bonus!):
- I miss you guys so much, please stop with the Japanese promotions and come back to Korea and release a kick-ass full-length album with kick-ass choreography and a kick-ass concept so that you can kick the asses of these 12 idiots that I'm currently spending my time on because fuck, I miss spazzing about my 5 favorite boys in the world.
- Or I can just live in a perfect world where my love for SHINee and EXO coexist peacefully.
- *snorts*
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