In which I ramble...

Mom just bought me a new handy-dandy laptop to replace my ancient one that got broken a few months ago. I was really sad when it bid me farewell because I had a lot of files stored in it and it's been with me since the 4th grade but then again, that ancient laptop won't even connect to the internet. This new one's a bit small but I like it just fine and I can finally (hopefully) write fan fiction again and I can watch variety shows and live performances in the comforts of my room because the PC is in the living room and anybody can see what I'm up to whenever I'm on the computer. Hooray for having high grades if this is what I get in return. 

Warning: Incoherent Post

A scene by scene commentary on Dazzling Girl

0:00 - 0:22 Hurry up, I want to see my boys, not this girl omg I am so essited!!!

0:23 - 0:25 OMG THIS IS IT!!!

0:26 - 0:29 DA FUCK GUYS WHAT ARE YOU DOING

0:30 - 0:39 ~JONGHYUN IS A DINOSAUR FROM YOUR IMAGINATION~

0:40 - 0:45 TAEMIN, I WANT TO PUNCH YOU DUDE YOUR FACE IS SO RIDICULOUSLY GOOD-LOOKING IT SHOULD BE A CRIME TO BE THIS PRETTY!!!

0:46 - 0:47 Taemin, no more hip thrusts please. Have mercy ;_______;

0:48 - 0:53 FLUFFY BUNNY ONEW!!!

0:54 - 1:01 Jjong, you've got immaculate pits but what's up with your clothes? What's up with everybody's clothes? Enlighten me please. Your wardrobes never fail to amuse and perplex me at the same time. Juts what is going on around the minds of your stylists? But whatever fabulous bbys, just work whatever those heartless noonas force you to wear (though I would kill to be in their shoes).

1:02 - 1:05 Finally, I get some Key action. My dearest diva, sad to say I'm not really fond of your new hair. Wait, that's an understatement. I think it's tragic. I'm sorry.

1:06 - 1:07 And here we have Jonghyun with his weird hand movements.

1:08 - 1:09 Ooh lala, SM got some new ideas.

1:10 - 1:24 WHO CHOREOGRAPHED THIS SHIT? I LOVE IT.

1:25 - 1:30 Aw, Jongkey. You guys are so cute.

1:31 - 1:34 The girl seriously creeps me out because she reminds me of a store mannequin, especially when she was seated on the couch's armrest beside Onew. But Ontokki, you look precious as usual.

1:35 - 1:38 That awkward moment when Taemin's applying lipstick on a girl and Minho's styling her hair. Who the fuck comes up with these ideas?! 

1:39 - 1:49 Rainy day~ So happy~ Melody~

1:50 - 1:53 Hooray because Minho finally got to sing.

1:54 - 1:59 FUCK I SAID NO MORE HIP THRUSTS!!!!! ;_______________;

2:00 - 2:01 Taemin twirling is forever relevant.

2:02 - 2:07 Thinking about my life choices because I seriously want to fly to Korea and kidnap five dancing boys who sing, make cute faces, and make my heart do cartwheels.

2:08 - 2:21 THE CHOREOGRAPHY!!!!! I want to crawl on the floor and cry because the dance moves are A++ /sobs/

2:22 - 2:38 Minho's and Key's rap parts. As usual, I turn a blind eye.

2:38 ------- I WANT MORE!!! YOU GUYS CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME HANGING! MY POOR HEART!

omo eohtokke

a few things:

• Crying because Onew.
• Crying because airport photos of Onew.
• Crying because Onew's hair.
• Crying because Onew's shyness.
• Crying because Onew's awkwardness in front of the cameras.
• Crying because Onew's smile.
• Cring beacause Onew's painfully gorgeous in an awkward way.
• Crying because Onew's face without shitloads of make-up.
• Crying because Onew's airport fashion.
• Crying because Onew's handling of his bag.
• Crying because Onew talking.
• Crying because Onew walking.
• Crying because Onew blinking.
• Crying because Onew breathing.
• Crying.

• Gago.

• Every little piece of him is beautiful omg
• So many flawless people on my dash today: Ikuta Toma, Kiko Mizuhara, Sen Mitsuji, Cho Kyuhyun, Matsumoto Jun, Kai, and of course, my 5 lovely shining sweetie poos.
• I really really really want Taemin's personal wardrobe. We like the same clothes and we even drink the same banana milk. I swear, this makes us ~*soulmates*~
• Sobs. Leave me alone to wallow in my pool of delusions and false hope.
• Airport photos of SHINee + Me = OTP
• No, of course not. My OT3 is Onew&Taemin + Chryss. Your argument is invalid.
• Sobs.
• Sorry. I'm not usually like this.
• I swear. I'm not.
• Just kidding. I'm a crazy fangirl.
• No really.
• Seriously. 
• H o n e s t l y.
• But you probably know that already.
• Hooraaaay
• You know I'm just hyper right now because I'm going school-shopping in a few hours and also meeting up with my mom's highschool BFFs4eva so I'm in a bit of a depressed state because this day is filled with the idea of school and I kind of just want to punch everything because of course I h8 skool and its halls and its lessons and its people and its hopelessness.

• We will definitely go to the Philippines, they said. We'll hold a concert, they said. You'll be able to hear us sing and watch us dance, they said.
• WAE YOU LIIIEEEE, I said.

• The pains of an international fangirl.

• There was a thunderstorm last night with lots of scary lightning. It lasted for about an hour and a half. It happened at around 1am. Can you imagine me all alone in my room listening to the crackling sound of lightning and the horrible rumbling of thunder and there were like 4 times when the lightning seemed to hit only a couple of streets away and the ground shook and then the electricity went off and I was so scared that the idea of going to my mom's room was so tempting yet another lightning would strike and I would be too afraid to even move, much less breathe. And the rain was also pelting down hard and those screams and wails inside my head probably thought that I was scared shitless enough already that they had the decency to back off because boy, I wanted to cry.
• It was such a frightening experience and I hope it never ever happens again.
• On a much lighter note, I read some really fluffy fics last night that would probably put a cute, snowy rabbit to shame. I wanted to eat all of them up and never let go because you know, fanfiction is the love of my life.
• It's not. I just really love it. But it's not. I'm the love of my life.
• ...
• What is wrong with my head today?
• Maybe I bumped my bedside wall earlier this morning...
• You know, this has got to be my stupidest 'a few things' post to date. And that's saying a lot because I happen to know my most stupid thoughts land on these.
• Oh well.
• 

12:34 - sometime after 1 (early afternoon)

*Wrote this on my handy-dandy notebook. If your head hasn't hit the table because of boredom after this, then you are amazing.

So I'm stuck here in a really comfortable sofa in a dermatologist's clinic. The room is bitter cold, the clinic has a nice clean smell that all clinics seem to have, and the ambiance is cozy, so I'm in a bit of a complacent mood at the moment. There are only 6 people left, whereas before we left for lunch there were about 20. The last 6 standing: me, my mom, a guy in his late twenties, a boy about my age who's absorbed with his potable video game console, his dad, and an old lady who's been yawning quite a lot the past 30 minutes that I've been here. Minus the 2 receptionists and the other clinical staff, we are all that's left.

I've tried everything to pass the time away. I listened to music but that just left me very sleepy. I read a bit but I already finished the book a month ago so it felt a little dragging. I read the magazines on display but they featured nothing but mainstream fashion and I seem to have a certain loathing towards the latest trends. There was even a short time that I managed to space off, but then my mom nudged my side and told me to sit straight and stop staring at the wall. She then proceeded to ask if it would be nice to firm up her face or something, so that her wrinkles would go away. I promptly said no. I've never been a fan of cosmetic dermatology.

The main reason why I'm here in this abnormally cold clinic is to have the rashes and dark spots on my legs checked, since they've gotten worse ever since I sat down on the grass to enjoy the cool wind last week. They're really itchy and they swell when I scratch on them and it's actually kind of gross and--oops, I'm getting called, wait a bit--

--I'm back. The dermatologist's assistant asked me a bunch of questions and she told me to wait for awhile because I'm going to have my picture taken for record-keeping. Oh, she's calling me again.

---

About 20 minutes have passed. After I got my picture taken, they told me to go inside a room and the dermatologist was there and she started asking me lots of questions and also told me to show her the scars and spots and all that. It's boring to write about. Consultations have always been boring. Then she told me that I'll be applying some cream, lotion, a special type of soap, and some ointment twice a day on my skin and blah blah blah

And then she gave the prescription paper and I went upstairs to get all the creams.

---

About 10 minutes have passed. Right now, I'm in Munsterific and licking a cone of soft-served ice cream while writing this, waiting for my brother to pick us up. 

And I can't believe I managed to write a lengthy description of my visit to the dermatologist.

Such is my life.

Last night:

• It was the coldest night of the year so far, and so I decided to make it even colder by cranking up the air-con full blast and turning on the electric fan at its maximum. I then proceeded to lie on my bed and waited until I wouldn't able to take the coldness anymore. I did all sorts of things to pass the time and distract myself from shivering: I listened to music, sketched until my fingers went numb from the cold, read a book, ate a doughnut, until I couldn't take it anymore. I managed to survive 57 minutes. I was like "DAMN. THREE MORE STUPID MINUTES AND I'D HAVE SURVIVED AN HOUR." 
• And all night, I was thinking the same thing: "Shall I stay here and be plagued with my thoughts until I go insane?" 
• And then at around 10:30pm, my mom announced that fortunately, she wanted to sleep alone tonight and I was like, "OMG YES!!!!! I'M FINALLY SLEEPING IN MY OWN ROOM!!!"
• Spent the next 2 hours reading fanfiction. Life was brilliant.
• And then I was hungry so I grabbed a bowl and the box of unfinished cereal and some fresh milk and sat down at the dining table and ate.
• And then I went back to my room and read more fanfiction. 307 pages in one night, booyeah.
• The amount of fanfiction I read in a day is almost too embarrassing to reveal. 
• And then I thought to myself, "Am I the only one awake at this hour, crying because of gay fanfiction?"
• And then I sort of shuddered at the thought of it.
• I need to get a life.
• But I don't want to.
• Mehehehehehehe.

Keep on going and taste the stars.

As much as I love to write, I don’t really think I’m headed into that kind of direction.

Yes, I love pouring out my thoughts and transcending my ideas through words but I just can’t seem to see myself pursuing writing as a career. It’s just something I enjoy to do and I don’t want it be anything else but. One thing I really hate is being forced into making an opinion piece about something remotely uninteresting in my perspective and I think that if I make a career out of this hobby of mine, I don’t think I’d pull it off. Not one bit. And not to mention I don’t have the guts to survive the tough competition that the real world has to offer.

There are lots of successful freelance, creative, editorial and other writers that make it big but the ugly truth is that there are more starving ones.

Call me pathetically realistic and boring but I’ve mulled this over multiple times already and I really can’t grasp the image of myself devoting every spare time I have into making sure I meet deadlines and requests and offers and other whatnot.

I see myself writing for myself.

Selfish, I know. But I can’t help being like this.

25 Things You Might Already Know About Me {100th Post}:

1. Melon milk is my drug and guilty pleasure. Whenever I'm in the supermarket, I don't hesitate to buy even just a pint.
2. I write yaoi fanfiction.  For fun, for spazzing purposes, but mostly because I'm a fangirl with too much time in her hands.
3. I live by Tablo's wise words.
4. I like getting messages.
5. I plan on taking up International Studies and Foreign Languages (both majoring in East Asian).
6. I'm a sadistic, little bitch on the Internet.
7. But I'm an ultra-nice, ultra-smiley, ultra-sweet person in real life. lmao
8. I may be the only teenager who wants to be myopic so that I can get eyeglasses and look 'cool'.
9. I am very attracted to intelligence. And nice hands. And boys who read.
10. My first male obsession was an anime character (surprise, surprise), Koji Minamoto from Digimon Frontier. I was about 6 years old. ehehe
11. I'm more into Asian authors nowadays. They just seem to have more depth and intuition. But that's just me.
12. I drink Yakult every single day because I have a rather weak stomach and a love-hate relationship (that borders more on hate) with my digestive system.
13. I like pretty boys (pretty sure you know this already).
14. Sometimes, when I take selcas of myself, I pretend to be one of those glamorous ulzzangs who look so fresh and preppy and shit. But then, I start to think that I will never be even just near their level. Sad life is sad.
15. I'm a weakling. I'm fragile. I have very little physical strength. Seriously. I can't even open a water bottle. Just ask any of my friends and they can assess to that. The doctors say I have low potassium count, which in my opinion, is just doctor language for "weakling".
16. The class thinks I'm a dictionary and a thesaurus. But it's okay. I like helping them out with words.
17. I hate Biology. Sometimes, I hate it more than I hate Math. On good days, I just pretend it doesn't exist. But on bad days...
18. School's not wearing me out as much as it did freshman year. Sophomore year is <3
19. Super Junior was the first group K-pop group I fell in love with, followed by Epik High, and then SHINee. SHINee is currently my bias group but SJ has a special place in my heart. As for Epik High, they are timeless and deserve all my love and affection. But yeah, my entire fangirl world revovles around SHINee at the moment. Cut me open and pearlescent sky blue blood will come flowing out endlessly.
20. And for some explicit reason, I just know EXO will come climbing up my bias list. The power of pretty boys is fatal.
21. According to my mother, I'm a lazy-ass. I have to agree.
22. I want to travel but I have no money. /sobs/
23. I love the smell of coffee but I can't stands its taste. I can't stand anything bitter to be honest.
24. I'm a sunflower. I just realized how pathetic I am since he's not even my boyfriend, yet I don't look at any other boy the same way I look at him. But what's even more pathetic is that I don't mind that I'm like this. I know this is probably not healthy anymore, but maybe I'm just too dumb and hopeless to care.
25. My family says I make really good chocolate chip cookies. Or any other sugary concoction I come up with every time I have nothing to do and there are ingredients in the house.

GONE. GOING. GONE.

*gifs and photos are taken from Tumblr.

OT3. WHAT IS ONTAE AND 2MIN.

TAEMIN'S PLAYING HARD TO GET. JUST FUCKING HOLD HIS HAND ALREADY. FORGET DEM CAMERAS. PROFESS YOUR LOVE TO EACH OTHER!!!

GO AWAY.

THE WAY KAI LOOKS AT TAEMIN. I SWEAR THEY ARE FUCKING.

PERFECTION. ARE YOU GUYS FUCKING REAL?

gay

uber gay

super gay

TAEMIN, THE CREEP

WHAT IS BREATHING

IT'S NOT "BEST BUDDIES FOR LIFE". I PROPOSE, "FUCK BUDDIES 4 LYF." ~^O^~

DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. I HAVE DIED AND GONE TO PRETTY BOY HEAVEN.

See how I can turn from a sadistic and emotional little piece of shit into an incoherent fangirl who spazzes to no end? THE POWER OF FLOWER BOYS.

/crying/

WHY AM I LIKE THIS?

The ugly truth.

While "eating breakfast".

Brother: How come you never have any boyfriend problems? Oh right, because you don't have a boyfriend! -insert laughing sound that a person makes whenever he thinks he's funny-
Me: Like I care.
Brother: What about that kpop guy you're always talking about?
Me: Oh, Taemin. Yeah, I'm still waiting for him to propose.
-pause-
Brother: No wonder you don't have a boyfriend. You're not only weird, you're delusional as well. Who in their right mind would fall in love with you?
Me: I know right? You're so logical it hurts.

Here.

At the computer lab at school, it's free time!

We changed seats according to our own choices and I'm currently between my closest friends in class. This is the life~ Glad we could finally have even just a little piece of freedom since this is so scarce in school and we can seldom do the things we want.

Anne Mary's watching me as I type this. She says hi.
Kathleen is asking me trivial stuff about blogging. Ehehe. She says that she doesn't get my fascination with blogging. And at the moment, she just told me to stop talking about her. Ehehe.
The class is so noisy but it's the good kind of noise. I'm normally not a fan of disruptions or loud people talking all the time but I'll let this pass because this is turning out to be a good day for me.

Biology is up next and obviously, I think you all know how much I hate that subject. But I think this session's going to be a bit more bearable since we're just going to meet up with our investigatory group and talk and nada and other shit. No Julienne though :( I'm rooting for her. I hope she wins in that writing bullshit. haha. Anyways, I have two of my other close friends around and I'm already thankful for that :)

I hope this day doesn't turn out to be draining.

That's all.  I'm bored. We have nothing nothing to do here but it's all good.


Bye.

a few things:

You know, I only post this whenever there are a lot of things on my mind or sometimes, I want to post about a lot of stuff but I'm too lazy to do a proper blog post. Okay, here goes:

• TAEMIN KNOWS HOW TO PLAY THE GUITAR. ELECTRIC, TO BE SPECIFIC. OH MY GOOOOD. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK AT THE MOMENT. BREATHE, CHRYSS, BREATHE. FUCKING BREEEEAAAATHE.
• That boy is going to be the death of me. I swear. Someday, my mom's gonna find me on the floor, dead, hugging Taemin's poster.
• I AM FUCKING JOKING. YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW TO NOT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY.
• Ugh. Why why why. How come I never knew about his skills? Is it just me? sobs WHY TAEMIN WHY
• AND YOU CHANGED YOUR HAIR BACK TO COPPER. 
• And so this is what I get by not going online for a day. Fuck you, Taemin.
• NO, I LOVE YOU OKAY. DONGSAENG LOVES YOU THE MOST. DON'T LISTEN TO DEM NOONAS. YOU ONLY HAVE ME, UNDERSTAND? ONLY MEEEEE.
• /crying.
• SHINee, just fucking have your comeback already. I miss your promotions, performances, and variety shows in Korea.
• SHINee in Korea > SHINee in Japan
• -end of stupid rant-
• One piece of toast for breakfast. Why do I even bother?
• Shit, it's 10 am already.
• Yesterday was fun. The musical fireworks show was amazing. I wanted to cry. ;_;
• Whenever the world was lighted up with pearlescent sky-blue fireworks that were the exact color of SHINee's, me = CONTAIN IT. BEHAVE. DON'T CRY. CONTROL YOURSELF. JUST BLOG ABOUT IT.
• Afterwards, we had to drive all the way to Bacolod to take my sister to work. McDonald's Drive-Thru ♥
• And then jamming to Korean indie rock music on the way back.
• In this sea of memories...I hope you drown.
• New Year's Eve was the best one yet.
• Happy New Year, by the way.
• The end is near. 
• And I mean the end of my Christmas vacation. 
• I fucking despise 'the world is ending' hype. 
• If I have personally offended you, then I'm sorry.
• It's just ridiculous. For me, anyway. To each his own?
• If there's one thing I want to improve with myself, I'd like to be able to draw well.
• And then 'be a better person' and all those other resolutions that never come true because the world is self-absorbed and selfish.
• Can you sense my distaste for resolutions?
• I dreamt of Kai last night. lol
• I think I was blubbering on about how he looked so much like Taemin but Taemin would still be #1 in my heart. I'm sure he couldn't understand me because he had a blank expression on his face and he kept giving side-way glances to a lamp. Oh, dear. A lamp is more interesting than me.
• SOBS 2 DAYS LEFT.
• "Why do people wait for a new year to change?" 
• ''New year, new me.'' Wow. 
• Things are not going to look up for you if you keep waiting for something big to happen just so you can change or turn away from bad habits. 
• So many readers from Russia. Hi! :)
• I was going to say something to you but I'm afraid I'll just become a bother. #mom
• Doing nothing after a long hard day of doing nothing. #meduringbreaks
• I am seriously one of the most inactive people I know. #fact
• "BUT I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THE HOOOUUSE!" My reply every time someone asks me to go to the mall, or any other place 5 meters away from the vicinity of my home.
• I'm lousy, I know.
• And what I also know is that this has been a very pointless, very long, and very annoying post.
• Ehehe.
• :3

This post has so many tags! ehehe
Obviously, I amuse myself.

Bewildered.

How'd I manage to gain 45 views yesterday?

...

Just how...

...

Um, hi :3

My stats say that there are 6 people viewing my blog at the moment.

Whoever you are, you are more than welcome here.

My name's Chryss.

I don't bite, I just chew :3

That doesn't make sense.

But then, this blog doesn't make sense.

Ehehe.

LOST.

Onew's bunny is on the loose. A video of said bunny is found above. Please contact SM Entertainment for more information. A great reward will be given to whoever can give back the precious bunny to its pitiful master who's been worried sick for days.

Today in bullets because I'm lazy to do a proper blog post:

• There was no electricity from 8am to 5pm today. I called the electric company and they told me that there's power shortage and they need to change the power and blah blah I wasn't really listening because I was so pissed and the thought of screaming at the person on the other end and slamming the phone was so tempting. Ugh.
• I was so pissed I didn't bother eating breakfast. Wanted to go back to sleep but my sister kept on pestering me to keep her company until her boyfriend showed up. "Company" meant sitting on the sofa doing nothing while she talked on the phone with one of her friends. Let's say I wasn't exactly in my best mood this morning.
• When my sister's boyfriend finally showed up half an hour late, my mood brightened a little because he brought over some kimchi. The two of them ended up making kimchi fried rice with spicy tuna for lunch while I read a book and listened to some music. By the time they finished cooking, I was starving, having not eaten anything for the whole morning, and needless to say, I ate quite a lot. IT'S KIMCHI FOR PETE'S SAKE. 
• Took a nice long shower and stayed in the bathroom for about an hour, playing with the water. It was so humid outside that it was nice lingering in the coldness of the bathroom tiles. Only got out when my sister was screaming about needing to pee. 
• Stayed on the front porch for the rest of the afternoon, continuing with I am the Messenger (it's a lovely book, by the way) and playing Mario Kart, Cooking Mama, and Harvest Moon on the DS until I got drowsy and fell asleep to the sound of our coconut tree's leaves swaying to the rhythm of the late-afternoon wind. 
• When I woke up, the power was on! Hallelujah.
• Thus, this post.
• It's been a really bad day.
• I'm going to post about yesterday's escapade with my sister in a few.
• Please bear with me.
• I can't believe so many people read this pointless blog.
• Thank you though.
• Really, I mean it.

a few things:

• Home alone, munching on M&M's for breakfast and thinking how much of a life I have.
• Schedule for the entire week: Eat, sleep, read, blog, repeat.
• Korean indie is a flawless genre of music. 
• And so is the music that Epik High and Tablo produce.
• SUNGHA JUNG, I WILL MARRY YOUR FINGERS.
• Not having a camera is tough when you want to show people all the things you've discovered because sometimes, describing it alone with words isn't enough.
• Where the fuck did the cold weather go? Ugh, it is so hot I can't stand being in my own skin.
• Mom allowed me to go to the SHINee concert, but only if it will be held during the summer. If it isn't, I'll go cry myself a river by the corner.
• Even something really beautiful can be broken sometimes.
• I have loved. I love. I will love.
• I think I'll die an old maid or someshit. Who the fuck will ever fall in love with me? #feelings
• Kim Jong Il is dead and millions of North Koreans are still starving, suffering, and dying. The injustice of it all. And some people are so indifferent to these kinds of news it makes me want to punch them in the face. Crey crey.
• Somewhere between your hands and mine, our hands will meet and intertwine. You're my 11:11 request, my stray eyelash thought, my wish every time the first star comes out to shine. When will you finally be mine?
• ^Extremely random strings of words that I just came up with. Excuse the incoherence and lack of relevance.
• I hate knowing what is right and what I want and realizing that they're not the same things.
• My lazy buns always come out wrong. Oh god, I'm too much of a lazy-ass to make proper lazy buns. What is with me.
• I am a hopeless case.
• Onew is stealthily climbing up my bias list like a motherfucking ninja. Ontokki, please be mine this Christmas! OPPA, CAN YOU HEAR ME ALL THE WAY FROM KOREA? OPPA, YOU ARE PERFECT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? OPPA, YOUR VOICE IS LIKE DRINKING HOT CHOCOLATE ON A COLD SNOWY DAY. OPPA, I LOVE YOU OKAY? OPPA, MY LOVE FOR YOU IS EVERLASTING. OPPA, DON'T TAKE TAEMIN AWAY FROM ME! OPPA, IF YOU SAY YOU DON'T LOVE ME BACK, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU LOVE BECAUSE I'M NOT ONE OF THEM! OPPA, DON'T LISTEN TO DEM NOONAS, STICK WITH DONGSAENG! OPPAAAA!!!
• Do you always take everything as a joke? Grow up. 
• ^Yes, I'm referring to myself.
• <----As I'm staring at the bullets, they actually look like diamonds. This is extremely pointless, I know. (pun  intended!)
• Searching for more fanfics to devour. It feels like summer all over again. Ehehe.
• I need 1Q84 by the lovely Haruki Murakami before this year ends. I SHALL HAVE IT.
• I just pretend to like you. But then again, I pretend I like a lot of people. Ehehe.
• Ehehe. I'm quite fond of saying it. Ehehe. 
• Spirited Away will always be my favorite childhood movie. Fuck Disney, Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli make me feel as if real magic exists in this world. 
• My husband is made of sparkly poo and pixie dust. I need to see him in the motherfucking flesh or else I will die shivering in the cold because of yearning and love.
• I updated my 100 Facts on Tumblr. You can go check it if you want.
• I'm 10 views short of a really big number and I'm not even nearing my 2nd month yet. I want to thank all my readers, especially to those who've stuck with me since the very start. I'm not usually this cheesy and I don't think I've ever thanked my followers on Tumblr but since this is different and this blog is where I vent, rant, share my interests, and everything else, I value all the people who cope with me here. Thank you ♥
• I intended for this post to be filled with depth. And again, I fail.
• I want to write. I can feel my fingers and my fingertips itching to write. Now to get some paper and transcend my ideas into words, release all frustrations, and pour out my feelings onto the fresh pages of the new drafts notebook I just got yesterday.
• This turned out to be a lot of things. Apologies.
• I can't believe you've read up to this end. Am I that pathetically interesting? I bet you find my shitty life amusing and you're probably laughing at your computer screen and thinking of how lucky you are that you're not me. 
• Sad :(

Mentally, Physically, and Emotionally Exhausted.

Throughout the entire day, only nagging returns
What are you doing at your desk today
During this breathless day
Even if there’s no place to rest
Never become weak
Even if there’s no one
To understand your grieving heart
Never give up
SHINee - A-yo

This school week passed by in a blur yet my body, mind, and spirit still feel tired and weary. It seems like I get irked by every single thing the teacher asks us to do, I get irritated by every single thing my friends talk about that is not relevant to my interests, and I am so annoyed at the moment that my legs are aching. I guess I was just used to the lack of motion and bustle and the inactivity of the health break that school completely drained me out. Ugh.

Also, the previous post was all about my right eye that had gone horribly wrong yesterday. It became even worse when I woke up this morning. It was all swollen and incredibly disproportional that I spent half of the morning telling my classmates that I got attacked by a measly speck of dust. It was highly embarrassing and pathetic. These kinds of things only happen to moi.

Also, Cards Out was this afternoon and although I'm satisfied with my grades, I know I could've done better. School should be at the top of my priorities list but sadly, it isn't because I still give the greatest importance into getting enough sleep. Sleep is my best friend.

And as I end this post, I realize how much of a life I have. Or lack of it.

The Sickly Diaries.

10/25/11 1:55 pm
At home, sick as I can be. Every single one of my friends is probably at Rob, having fun, while I lie here on my bed, feeling miserable and contemplating whether the awful taste in my mouth is from the medicine or the juice they just made me drink.
Even worse, I didn't get to to go to school today. I had things to settle: a borrowed book from the library, getting my Biology text book so that I could study in advance, the discussion about the lotus feet in Social Studies class that I've been waiting for for the past few months, and buying my stash of Nerds for the health break. Now I have an overdue book, I won't be able to pull up my grade in Bio, I didn't get to revel in the discussion with all its repulsive pictures and revolting facts, and worse, I have no candy. I am a very sick and miserable person.
And now my head is throbbing again and I feel woozy. Also, my throat hurts and I am sweating like a pig. I hope the latter part means I'm finally getting better. I'd like to go online tomorrow because at the moment, I feel like a caged bird with a hangover.

10/26/11 6:31 pm
So I'm finally better at last. I just have a little bit of a headache and some sniffles although I have cough attacks occasionally. But all is well. I'm recovered, or at the very least, recuperating. I feel much better than I've had these past few days that I was living an actual nightmare. Ugh, I absolutely hate being sick.
I felt all weak and tired and cranky and useless and pathetic. So glad that things are getting brighter. Plus, I'm allowed out of my room tomorrow. Fuck yeah, I get to see daylight again.

10/27/11 8:05 am
I'm still writing this on an intermediate pad of paper because I still can't go online for certain reasons. Reasons like the router is in the kitchen and the kitchen is being renovated, thus the telephone line is also down. Just put two and two together and you'll get what I mean. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out.
Anyway, awhile ago, just as I was about to gulp down my cough syrup, my profound and insightful older brother comes in and says something along the lines of "Cough syrup tastes good." I wanted to smack him on the head after he said that.
Cough syrup is the bane of my existence at the moment. It is the remaining medicine that I have to take and IT DOES NOT TASTE GOOD. It has a repulsive taste and not to mention its revolting odor, sickly-sweet odor. It makes me want to throw up, in all honesty.
Which brings me to another topic: medicine. I absolutely hate medicine. Painkillers, tablets, capsules, syrups--I all despise them. They all don't work for me. I've been secretly sick plenty of times and got better without the help of medicine. But whenever my paranoid of a mother finds out that I'm sick, she makes me take all kinds of stuff and I end up not getting better, but getting worse. Medicine sucks. They just prolong my sickness. Fuck them.

 Same day 9:31 am
Please take note that I haven't bathed since Sunday. So it would be needless to say that I smell like shit, I look like shit, and I feel like shit. And I've been itching for a bath.
So lo and behold, my dear mother finally allows me to take a bath, a much needed shower. And I was so freaking happy and excited that I was practically skipping as I went to get my towel.
So I was stepping into the bathroom, yes. I was stripping off my clothes, yes. And just as I was about to turn on the shower (shit I was so excited!) and let the glorious water splash all over my filthy body, I hear loud and rambunctious knocking at the door and my sister shouting, "Get out! I'm going to be late for work!"
So here I am, outside the bathroom, writing this down, still smelling, looking, and feeling like shit.
Life sucks.

10/28/11 2:14 pm
Things are bad.

10/29/11 12:45 pm
Just when I thought that things were finally okay, they went downhill. My coughs got worse and I can't breathe through the amount of nasal mucus in my nose. Also, my stomach gets upset more often than it sould be. When will I finally get better?

10/30/11 10:56 am
Getting better. I hope.

10/31/11 6:32 pm
I am better. Thank God.