Oh, dear. I've been so caught up with another fandom I don't know what's going around with you guys anymore. I see all these pictures and videos on my dashboard of the five of you and I don't know where they're from. A few months ago, I would've known exactly which gif came from which video, which photo came which photoshoot, but now, I am just lost and frustrated and I don't know where I stand anymore. There's a dull aching somewhere inside me and I know it's because I miss you guys unfavorably. In a few months, I'm going to celebrate five years of being a Shawol and I've been in this fandom for so long I don't ever want to leave. You guys have made me so happy and the five of you are so wonderful and beautiful and you strip me of all my metaphors. No words will ever give enough justice to how much I adore you all and if I could teleport myself to anywhere in the world right now, it would be by your side because the five of you have given me so much to believe in, it's amazing, how you can be such a big part of someone's life yet not know it.
I am struggling, that much I know. I am struggling to fit together again the pieces and I don't know if I'll be able to do it and succeed in becoming the Shawol that I once was, the Shawol that had her heart cut open only for you guys, the Shawol that got a big chunk of her inspiration from shining SHINee.
I know I'm being unfair to myself. This is just fandom after all. But I'm so knee-deep into fandom I can't help feeling like this. Call me absurd all you want but at the end of the day, fandom is still one of the primary reasons why I continue to smile and breathe and live and if you were in my place, you'd understand why these kinds of things are very important to me.
Damn EXO, why'd you have to barge into my life uninvited? Not that I mind, ot12 is wonderful and amazing as well.
But still. SHINee is my sunSHINe(e).
Chryss being a sap again, I see.
Sigh.
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