Words of a teenage escapist.

 better together

Kaisoo; pg; slight!angst/fluff; 1100 words

a/n: I shut myself off in my room for an hour and this happened. Written on impulse. Loosely inspired by Jack Johnson's song, Better Together. First Kaisoo fic and first fic that I've written in a year (a Y E A R). This is eleven hundred words of poop . Comments are much appreciated.

It's the fifth night in a row that Jongin can't sleep well, bones tired and aching but mind and heart not quite ready for rest. He tosses and turns in his bed, scratching his head frustratingly as he tries to will his body to sleep. He doesn't know if it's chronic sleep deprivation or he's upset by the things weighing him down. He messed up during practice again earlier today and the disppointment etched across the stern features of their dance trainor had been bothering him to no end.

"Concentrate, Jongin. Focus. You're the lead dancer, you can't afford to make mistakes," his trainor had told him when he had missed a beat. His fellow members had looked at him with concerned eyes. It was evident they were a little bit troubled by Jongin's sudden mishap. The boy had music coursing through his veins, how could he have missed that little half-second beat?  It wasn't like Jongin to make mistakes.

Of course. Jongin is the main dancer and he can't afford to make mistakes. But when the lights in the audience dim and the spotlight is on him and his other members, it's Kai dancing up there and not Jongin. Even though Jongin's the one who invested blood and sweat into all the years of training, Kai was the one who debuted. Kai's the one who's not supposed to make mistakes. Jongin's human. Jongin's a nineteen-year old boy. Jongin should be allowed to make mistakes. Kai can be perfect all he wants but Jongin just wants to be real.

Jongin doesn't know why, but he's been out of himself as of late. He doesn't know the reason for the frequent aching in his chest, dull and heavy and unforgiving, but it's there and he doesn't know how to get rid of it. He turns again in his bed, looking up at the ceiling with sleep-deprived eyes and a worrying heart.

A voice from the other side of the room suddenly speaks. "Jongin, go to sleep. I know you're awake."

"K-Kyungsoo, why are you still up?" he stammers in reply.

Kyungsoo's facing the wall but Jongin can sense the older boy smirk. "I'd like to ask you the same thing." Kyungsoo turns to look at him. "Something troubling you?"

"Nah, I'm fine," he forces a smile just so Kyungsoo would leave him alone. He's not really in the mood to talk and if he wants to be honest, he doesn't trust himself to speak when Kyungsoo's looking at him like that, the older boy's eyes inquisitive and concerned and it makes the butterflies in Jongin's stomach flutter.

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes at him. "Do you honestly expect me to believe that, Kim Jongin? And wipe that smile off your face, it's faker than Zitao's faux fur jackets."

Jongin rolls his eyes. "People think you're a cute little kitten when really, you're one of the most cynical people I've ever met."

"And you're avoiding my question."

"Hyung, let's just go to sleep."

"Not unless you tell me what's bothering you first."

"Nothing's bothering me. Good night, hyung."

But Kyungsoo is persistent. "Jonginnie~ Jonginnie, what's wrong? What's bothering our little Jonginnie? Hmmm?"

Normally, Jongin would cringe at the baby nickname but whenever Kyungsoo's the one calling him "Jonginnie", his heart expands and he feels like crying on everything because Kyungsoo is too adorable for him to take.

But he would never admit that. Not yet anyway.

"Now you're just being ridiculous, hyung," Jongin says.

"Ridiculously cute, you mean," Kyungsoo replies, grinning.

Jongin grabs a pillow from his left side and throws it over at Kyungsoo, and it hits the boy square on the face. An indignant yelp is heard from the older boy and Jongin laughs freely and he realizes it's the first time he's laughed in days. It feels great.

Kyungsoo glares at him, pouting. Jongin smiles, saying, "I take back what I said. You do look like a kitten, a very disgruntled one."

Kyungsoo lets out a huff and gets up from his bed and pads over to Jongin's. Jongin sits up, giving Kyungsoo space and he drapes his blanket over the both of them. Kyungsoo leans on Jongin's shoulder and starts tracing patterns on the younger boy's palm.

"Your hands are rough. You work too hard," Kyungsoo says to him.

"Well...yeah. I need to."

Kyungsoo stays silent for a while, still drawing shapes on Jongin's palm, when he suddenly squeezes Jongin's hand and looks up at his dongsaeng. "That's what's been bothering you, huh? You're working hard but you think you're not working hard enough."

Jongin looks down at his hyung and he's suddenly struck by the realization that Kyungsoo might be feeling the same way. Up on stage, Kyungsoo turns into D.O, the lead singer who makes cute faces and teases fans with his silly antics, but offstage and behind the cameras, Kyungsoo was also just like him, trying to find his place in the real world, the world behind all the screams of the fans, the world behind the flashy clothes and make-up and hairspray and photoshoots, the world behind the judging stares of the Korean entertainment industry, the world behind the limelight.

Kyungsoo's eyes are still on him, waiting for an answer. But it seems that Kyungsoo doesn't really need one because Kyungsoo already knows. He knows.

"It's okay, Jongin. We're here for you. I'm here for you."

Jongin thinks he's probably going to regret this later but he leans down and presses his lips to Kyungsoo's, gentle at first, and then more urgent when Kyungsoo kisses back. They stay like that for awhile, planting soft kisses on each other's lips, until they hear the bathroom door slam and water running from an open faucet.
They break apart, cheeks flushed and they're suddenly shy of each other. Kyungsoo looks down and says, "Well, w-we should get some sleep." He makes a move to get up but Jongin slithers his arms around his hyung's waist and pulls him down until the older boy is sitting on his lap. "Stay," Jongin says, his lips on Kyungsoo's neck, making the other boy shudder.

The both of them settle themselves on the bed and they move around until they fit together perfectly, like two pieces of the same puzzle. Jongin's arms are wrapped around Kyungsoo's waist and Kyungsoo's head is on the younger boy's chest, listening to the steady beating of Jongin's heart. Jongin thinks he could waste away a whole lifetime like this.

Kyungsoo starts humming Into Your World and Jongin drifts off into slumber to the sound of Kyungsoo, to the smell of Kyungsoo, to the warmth of Kyungsoo.

This should happen more often.

fin.

a/n:  idek anymore