a few things:

• Am I the only one who doesn't know what's going on because I don't matter anymore or...
• Oh, whatever.
• Happy Birthday, Jonghyun~
• Dead tired. Just got home from a family excursion with my mom's side of the family. Tons of fun but exhausting.
• But it was nice being up on the mountains and hearing the gush of the waterfalls. You don't have that everyday.
• I feel so left out of a lot of things.
• I also feel detached from a lot of people. It's as if I'm just living my own life now.
• It's scary.
• Running my hand through my hair, thinking it's gonna go all the way back and realizing, "Oh, it's only up to there."
• Both good and bad, trust me.
• Has anyone ever realized that fangirling is actually very stressful and time-consuming? There should be a job and a paycheck for this.
• But then again, it's all done out of love~
• What am I saying?
• Sigh.
• "That moment when you realize that you’re in love with so many famous people or fictional characters that you wonder if your heart could love a ordinary person."
• Every. Single. Day. Of. My. Life.
• It is so confusing at times. I feel like I want to love them for the longest time possible, but things don't simply work out like that. Reality slaps you in the face, telling you to get a move on with your life and actually start living but you don't want to and you want to shout at that irritating voice in your head to get lost and leave you alone but it won't because it's its job to stop you from feeling and thinking such things and it actually wants to help but you don't want and you feel like you don't need help even though you actually are in dire need of emotional assistance. But then you think to yourself again, you're talking to voice that exists only in your head and it's driving you mad...don't you think you're going mad too? But you tell yourself that everything will be fine because everything usually ends up being all fine and dandy but there's still this distinct tug in your chest, pulling at the seams of your soul, and even though it's not permanent...it lingers.
• Apparently, I take my feelings for boys who don't know I exist very seriously.
• This is ridiculous. I'm ridiculous.
• Why am I like this?
• Never mind. I think I'll go watch some cheesy anime, eat cookies, and pretend I'm fine.

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