There was actually a time this past summer, that I became so emotional over wanting to be a misfit. I was obsessed with the concept of being one, that I cried myself to sleep once. I was just so caught up in my thoughts and feelings that I don't even know why I cried. I was, in a way, enamored and driven that hopefully someday, I'll be one too. But at that moment, as I sobbed on my pillow, I realized that I wasn't one and probably will never become one, so it made me feel completely sad and empty inside that I didn't even know myself at that moment.
Also, I think what really drove this obsession was this lovely and beautiful fanfic. The author is one of my favorite fic authors and I look up to her in more ways than one. The way she writes figurative speech in such an effortless way is pure love. She is one of the main reasons why I write fanfics today and for that, I'll always be thankful to her.
All her fanfics have made me cry over the immensity of their loveliness and I've decided that one day, I'm going to be as good as her. All her writings hit home and as someone who loves to write as well, that's what I aim to do. Let my readers live with my story and breathe the essence of it.
Someday.
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