Hello!
Well, that's kind of an ironic greeting considering that this is my attempt at a proper goodbye message. Yup, that's right. Starting today, mapthehumansoul will be mapping no more. This blog needs to rest ... for good.
Believe me when I say, this was not at all an easy decision for me. But after much deliberation and countless internal debates with myself, I honestly think that this is for the best. Call it the need for personal closure or an effort to let go of things no longer within my reach but I've been mulling this over for weeks now - days spent walking with so many "yes" and "no" thoughts whirling around in my mind, nights spent laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling wondering if I'm really ready to put an end to something that has been an essential part of me for the past three years. I feel like I should be sad but really, I'm not. Maybe there's a bit of heartache present but not sadness because I want this and I like to think that I've prepared myself enough for a goodbye.
I regret a lot of things about this blog. It has been home to a lot of my worst moments: sudden waves of overwhelming and unexplained unhappiness (melancholy, really), family struggles, pointless rants and breakdown posts filled with words that even up to now, still hurt like fresh wounds. But I accept those regrets because they are a part of me and because this blog has also been home to a lot of my best moments: seeing SHINee and EXO-K perform live (seeing inspiration in the flesh, really), silly and heartwarming fun-filled days with friends, personal achievements, and accomplishing some of the higher goals I've set for myself. I don't know what's going to happen in a few weeks, a few months, a few years from now but the one thing that will never change is that this has been home.
If you're reading this right now, I'd like to thank you. So freaking much. Blogging was an easy platform for me to express myself and it somehow served as a personal form of enjoyment but without you guys, I would never have had the motivation and the desire to post things or share my thoughts and feelings. Whether it be fandom-related issues, the happenings in my not-so-interesting life, or the occasional word vomit that I recklessly wrote during moments in which I was filled with words and not much more - some of you have been with me through thick and thin and it's simply amazing, truly wonderful. All your supportive messages about me, my writing, and my dreams have only made me strive to become a better person and I am so grateful that if I could hug each one of you right now, I would. Whether you've been my reader since 2011 or just started a week ago, thank you. Thank you for being a part of this and for being with me.
So I'm nearing the end of this message and I hope that all of you will have wonderful lives ahead. If you're a fellow blogger and you love sharing bits and pieces of yourself, don't stop if you're genuinely enjoying what you're doing! To those who plan on taking the route of blogging, it's a beautiful and enlightening journey. I discovered a lot of things about myself and somewhere along the way, I've had my defining moments. But certain journeys have to stop for some of us in order for new ones to pave way for brighter beginnings (okay, that sounded kind of storybook-like, I apologize).
I'm not gone for good though! I will no longer post here but you can still talk to me and send messages to my Tumblr ask box. I would greatly appreciate it if you weren't anonymous because I reply faster to private messages and I get to be more comfortable with you! If you have a Twitter account, my personal one is @yeheyimamoron and the one I use for fandom is @jagiya. Please feel free to send me a follower request if you're interested on us getting to know more about each other ^^
Also, tea-with-tablo and sleepyteas are still up and running and I don't have plans on taking them down soon :)
To end this, I'm going to quote a line from "Honesty", one of my favorite songs from SHINee:
If my joy became your happiness, then thank you.
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