open confession

Forgive me, Father for I always sin. 

Forgive the vines that crawl along my spine threatening to rip apart my wings that have always been weak, that have always been frail, that have always been in need of stronger faith. Forgive all the times I focused on the distractions and beat myself up over my own downfall. Oftentimes, I am the cause of my own downfall. Forgive me for all the times I blamed you for my suffering, blamed you for my pain, blamed you for all the struggles I heaved upon my tiny, on-the-verge-of-collapsing shoulders. Forgive me for all the times I strayed from the right path and for all the times I followed the road to darkness when I should've counted my steps towards the light. Forgive me for thinking ill of other people and for never having the courage to say certain words out loud. Forgive me for causing my own destruction. Forgive me for always being angry during homilies and for never agreeing with what the priests have to say. Forgive me for putting other things before you. Forgive me because my sleepless nights are not used for the betterment of my studies, they are used to fix all my broken bones and all my dismantled pieces that up to now, are still in dire need of repair. Forgive me for I am always scared. Forgive me for I am a coward. Forgive me because after all this time, I still can't bring myself to forgive and forget. Forgive me for all my breakdowns. Forgive me for all my letdowns. Forgive me please and let me see the light again.

Forgive me for begging for forgiveness but please, please save me from my own self.