whenever people compliment me on my writings and tell me i'm amazing and that i trigger things in them and my words touch even just the smallest corners of their heart, i feel like cutting myself open just to let them see how much i appreciate all their kind words because i will never be able to see the beauty in me the way they do. some days ago, an anon on tumblr told me that he/she wanted to marry me and have my babies and that s/he was going to buy them typewriters so that i could teach them to write because it would be cute and s/he said i was too cute for his/her heart to handle and that made me smile so much the corners of my mouth ached from too much smiling and i was supposed to find it creepy but i just found it really really sweet because it's not everyday i receive a message like that. some more days ago, another anon told me that she's been reading my writings since 2011 and i almost couldn't believe it because wow she put up with all my ramblings and incoherence and just general emotional bullshit for two years and that itself made me want to shed tears because damn, that made me so happy. and then about a month ago, i received a message from another anon telling me that my writings have changed her life and that made me want to run outside and scream beautiful things and hug trees and kiss flowers and spin around in circles because i felt like there was sunshine coursing through my veins.
i receive little messages like these all the time but each time a new one pops up, it still manages to make my heart flip in the most amazing way and in that split second, i actually believe in myself. i believe that i'm worth more than i deem myself to be and i believe that i can almost change things. we live in a world that's both tragic and beautiful but if we look past all the things that bring us down, there is the sun, there is the moon, the stars, the clouds, the sky, the seas, there is beauty and there is love. we should never forget that there is love.
i love you. yes, you. if you're reading this right now, i love you.
believe it because slowly, but surely, i'm trying to believe in myself too.
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