a few things:

• Summer's here but a part of me's elsewhere, I have an inkling I left it somewhere in III-St. Clare.
• I haven't been writing much lately and it's actually affecting me a lot. Writing is supposed to come as easily as breathing, as naturally as sleeping, as innately as being human. But even though my writing hiatus is bothering me, I don't want to force myself to write. Whenever I do, nothing worth sharing ever protrudes from the roots of my mind. 
• I'm always alone in the house right now. I don't know if I like it or not because it can get unbearably lonely but the solitude is nice as well. I am very conflicted with my feelings at the moment.
• Oh, right, I promised you guys spoken word poetry, right? Don't worry, I'm working on it :)
• I told myself during exams week that I'll catch up with SHINee's promotions once it's summer already but I feel like punching myself in the gut right now because what I've been doing the past few days is the complete opposite of that. I've been having a Shut Up Flower Boy Band marathon with my sister and I've been baking and doing other things not SHINee-related (like watching fancams of Kyungoo huhuhu lemme sob). I felt extremely guilty so I'm downloading the Wonderful Day episodes that I haven't watched yet. I don't know when I'll be able to watch these but hopefully soon. And I also have to watch their performance on Sketchbook (I love Sketchbook, it's such a great show) and their appearances on the Beatles Code and Hello. Oh god, when will I have the time for all of these?
• "Oh god, when will I have the time for all of these?" I say as I have all the time in the world because I'm stuck at home and it's summer. Hurrah for Chryss, the lazy homebody.
• "Sometimes there's some small stains left even though you rub your skin raw against the fabric. Sometimes forcing yourself to forget hurts more. Let time deal with it." Ladies and gentlemen, some wise words from my prom date. I don't know why but he likes talking to me about his problems and I just sit there and try to make him feel better. He always tells me to open up as well and tell him the things bothering me but I never do because according to my mom, I'm too indifferent for my own good.
• I push a lot of people away. It's better this way?
• I had a lot of things in mind for this post but I forgot about them. Sigh.
• On a lighter note, my mother's still giving me allowance for the summer break! It's only half of what I usually get when there's school but this is better than nothing at all. I'm planning on saving the money for concert funds. That is, if I don't spend some of it on books and food and...banana milk.
• I know a lot of people don't like banana milk but I love it so much it's like it was made for me. And Taemin. And Sehun. And Jongin. And a whole lot of other Koreans. Yeah.
• My brother is bothered by the fact that I have shorter hair than him now. He told me, "Guys like pretty girls with long hair." Well...fuck guys who like pretty girls with long hair, I refuse to conform to the norms and ideals of a society that doesn't want to embrace change. To hell with society and its beauty standards.
• Oh, I was on tinychat last night and I was trying to fool people into thinking I was a boy but they kept saying things like, "But you're too pretty to be a boy." Obviously, they haven't seen the likes of Taemin, Luhan, Ren, and all the other pretty boys in the wonderful world of Korean pop.
• My mind is messy, my thoughts messier, my room the messiest. 
• Music has a way of making all things bearable, including pain. I don't get how some people can say, "I don't like music" because it's just helped me in more ways than one and I'd be lost without it. 
• I wish I was simple-minded but I think too much about the complexities of life that sometimes, I feel like clawing my brain out. I think too much and as a result, my over-thinking is slowly eating me away. I wonder when I'll ever feel whole again.
• Summer plans consist of blogging, sleeping all my troubles away, reading beautiful fan fabrication, hunting for some quality Korean music, baking, anime and kdrama marathons with my sister, and fawning over glorious Asian men. Yep, sounds good.
• I feel like the only person who still hasn't watched A Werewolf Boy. I remember blogging about it a few months back (see post here) and I'm so proud of Song Joong Ki. He's come a long way from small drama roles to international big screens. My sister and I first discovered him back in 2009 in his role as Ji Poong-ho in the drama Triple and I've always known this baby-faced namja had it in him to make it big. Song Joong Ki, fighting!^^
• I want some iced vanilla latte and a sugar muffin. Also, the chocolate chip cookies I baked yesterday are glorious. They taste like ambrosia. 

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