First day of Junior year tomorrow.
Help.
I am feeling the most horrible mix of anticipation and anxiety and apprehension.
Also, prom is this year and I am dreading it. I am
terribly awkward socially, mentally, and physically and I don’t think I’ve ever
had any proper conversation/interaction with a boy before given the fact that I
go to an all girls’ high school and even though I had boy classmates during my
elementary years, I was already horribly awkward and anti-social back then. I
was a nerd and a dork that spent way too much time reading and making up
stories in my head. I also devoted a large amount of effort into playing
Pokémon and I don’t think boys found that cute. I also hate wearing heels and I
can’t dance and I am really bad at striking up conversations and small talk.
It’s still 9 months away but time flies by,
especially when you’re not looking forward to something that people are
actually excited for. Really, I wish I could be like my classmates who really
look forward to that one night but I can’t really picture myself enjoying. I
hate any social gatherings of any kind. I bet I’m just going to be a
wallflower, and not even the endearing kind. Just the plain kind of wallflower
that fades into the background, the kind people wouldn’t even miss.
Yeah.
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