Words of a teenage escapist.

"""""" "When you're struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it's just as hard as what you're going through." "

You are not alone in your misery.

I wake up every day before the break of dawn so that I could go to school where I am forced to learn about quadratic formulas, blood types, homozygous traits, and other stuff I deem useless. I sleep and wake up an hour earlier than most people, yet I arrive home an hour later because I live far away. I have to listen to inconsiderate teachers I don't like ramble on about things I won't remember next week and I am persuaded to take tests about lessons I despise and have absolutely no interest in. I have to pretend to like the people around me in school, when in truth, there are only very few people that I genuinely like. There's always something off and slightly despicable about the others. And when I finally arrive home, I arrive home to a problematic and paranoid mother who finds fault in nearly everything I do. My only refuge is music and my salvation - writing, but sometimes, those are taken away from me too.

I struggle.

I bottle up my feelings with a loose cap and I'm too stubborn to open it up even just a little bit because I'm afraid people would know my weaknesses and what little emotional strength I have, and then find joy in my vulnerability. With a broken family, estranged parents, and everything else in between...who could blame them?

I hide behind the shadows of foolish thinking and wear an open mask of happiness, just so that people will remain oblivious and unmindful to the burdens and problems I have inside. I don't think I've ever spent a night not thinking of how absolutely unlucky I am to have this pathetic excuse of a life. And don't tell me to let things go because sometimes, letting go is the hardest part. Especially if you're holding on to something that might just ruin your life forever.

I struggle.
And I know you struggle too.
We all struggle.

It is something inevitable. We, as plain human beings, were destined to struggle.

You are not alone in your misery.