We all begin as strangers.

Camp.

Camp has been such an overwhelming experience and this weekend has been the most fun and fulfilling I've had in a really long while. I fear my words might not give enough justice to the true spirit of YFC:GK1MB Silay Youth Camp (Batch 10) but I'll try.

I attended this particular camp because I wanted a look at Youth For Christ, an organization that utilizes its members and skills into reaching out and touching minds and hearts while keeping a stable relationship with God. To be honest, I'm not a firm believer. I've got plenty of doubts, plenty of questions, lots of ambiguities. My lack of conviction makes my faith waver and it's dwindling, hanging at the seams and there were a lot of times that my belief was almost close to non-existent.

So I took up the offer of a friend to join this particular camp, packed my bags and soon enough, I found myself singing Hillsong at the top of my voice and calling out to God with tears streaming down my face and at the end of it all, I can say I don't regret anything.

To summarize everything in two words: fun and heartwarming.

Everything was back to basics. We slept with mosquitoes feasting on our skin, bathed with no showers just a pail and a bucketful of water, ate what was given to us, and walked around without caring what we looked like. We had lots of games and activities and strangers soon turned into friends and friends turned into something so much more than just all-too familiar faces. There are stories behind those faces, stories that cut much deeper and leave wounds that take a long time to heal. I also got to have heart-to-heart sessions with people I haven't even gotten to talk to until the weekend and I cried a lot and poured out feelings a lot but I also got to learn a lot.

But here comes the sad part--as much as I enjoyed camp and all the people I've met, I feel like entering a religious group is not for me. I love loving God but I guess I'm the type of person who wants to love God in my own little way, and not professing it with a large group of people. I like intimate relationships and while I love being around those people, I'd rather praise God on my own.

I don't know. I'm leaving myself some space and giving myself time to to think this through--whether I want to become an active member or not. It has its advantages and disadvantages and I had a serious talk with Mom and she actually told me not to continue because of...reasons that's just between the both of us.

But I digress.

It's quite sad how the whole experience is over already but I'm really glad I took the chance because opportunities like these don't come along as often as it should. This was what I needed, a short, temporary break from reality that would strengthen my faith and relationship with God and forming bonds with people that I hope will last a lifetime.